Imagine, you're sitting behind the wheel of your car driving merrily along. Even though you have a bunch of errands to run, you're in a great mood and you're having a great day!
You like your car a lot and it has taken care of you for a long time. You care for it and give it it's regularly scheduled maintenance. You two have a symbiotic relationship and it is good!
The day is filled with time in the car. You've got to drive out to the power company and pay a bill, 10 miles away. After that, you need to go over to a relatives house and pick up some wood, 5 more miles. Then you need to drop that wood off at a friends house out in the country, 26 miles away and you have to be back to pick you child up from a play date 35 miles from there all in only two hours.
"Let's get to it you and me" you say to the vehicle of mirth and merriment. It does not answer, which is good because this means that you have not lost your mind, yet.
30 minutes later you've paid the power bill and you're off to your relatives house. Once you arrive, you pick up the wood and you decide to have a quick glass of water and end up staying and chatting. No worries, you still have an hour and 15 minutes to go.
The chat is over and off you go!
You're driving to your friends house in the middle of nowhere in the warm early afternoon. Suddenly, in the lower portion of your vision to the right, you catch a glimpse of a glare. Nothing is whistling. No bells are going off. "I'll just make this left turn and continue on my way" you say to yourself and whistle. You did look for the glare near your right hand, but it's gone. No Worries!
You are driving through pine trees and farmland about a mile from your friends house and you see the glare again near your right hand. And then.... IT... HITS... YOU!!!!
"MY GAS LIGHT IS ON!!!!! I AM GOING TO DIE!!!" you think to yourself.
Now that I know this about you, I am thrilled that I am not the only one who goes into utter panic mode when this happens? I've seen movies where this is how people die. They run out of gas, pull over, flag down a passerby and BOOM. Ax Murderer!
Moving on....
"Why are ax murderers even allowed to drive, or at the very least, sold axes" your mind wanders as the reality of the situation kicks in.
"Why didn't I pay for that thingy on my dash that tells me how many miles I have left to drive?" You doubt your past decisions. "Am I going to die because I was cheap?" You're pretty sure you know the answer.
"Why didn't the car tell me sooner?" And then you remember the first glare as you turned left. Why did the designers put the gaslight on the dash right where it could easily be blocked by your right hand when driving? Whose idea was this?
It must be a drive by ax murderer conspiracy. They've infiltrated the auto unions. Ohhhh they are a crafty bunch what with their sneaky ability to buy axes.
Of course then you look again and the light is out. It was a fluke. You're fine. You're okay. Wow, you really must work on your thought process.
So you drive the last 2 miles downhill to your friends house. All is right in the world again. You drop off the wood and realize that you've only got 45 minutes to go. You sing to yourself... "On the Road Again (copyright to that insanely high corn gas guy)."
You start driving up the hill back to get your child and then it's the home stretch!
"Oh no! I am driving uphill now! The gaslight was only off when I was driving downhill." And you muster up the courage to look under your right hand again. Lo and behold, you're light is back on. The ax murderers must've known that your friend lived downhill. They are sooooo cunning that way.
You try to calm yourself down. "It's okay, I survived for years before this car without a gas light. Everybody did. I will survive this too!" But then you out think yourself. "Of course, back then I never let my tank get so low. I didn't rely on any warning device. I didn't rely on a gas light."
You see a gas station and hear yourself say out loud, "I'm saved! I'm going to be o... ewwww... those are really dirty trucks and scary looking people there." And you convince yourself that it is an ax murderer gas station.
SO YOU DRIVE RIGHT PAST!!!
You see another gas station a few miles down the road and you swear the gas light is getting brighter. Does it do that? Does the light get brighter the less fuel you have? Is that the bright light we see before we die?
The gas at the station is 5 cents more? What the hell?
You pass it by and realize you've officially gone insane. You call the friend your child is with and beg them to not sell your child to gypsies and you promise you will be there when you can be there. It may be a week. But you're going to make it!!!
You ask them to tell your child how much you love them, and then...
...Wow, you know, I could really go on with this for a while, but you understand what I'm talking about. Right?
Why do those gas lights freak us out so much, you and me?
Why do we rely on them?
Why can't it be like the old non-gaslight days?"
Why are so many auto execs ax murderers (alleged)?
Anyway, it looks like you made it a block away from your friends house before you finally ran out of gas. Good for you! That shows dedication. You, my friend, were up for the challenge. Don't abandon your car now. Your kid will be just fine. Any minute now Triple A will be by with some fuel.
Surely AAA doesn't hire ax murderers?
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