You can't stretch words out and have them make sense in text.
This is one of the major dilemmas I think that will affect us as a society as we continue to text and utilize social networking rather than actually communicate face to face, or even over the phone.
I have a phone with me at all times. It drives me nuts. I'm always getting texts and e-mails and game requests. And when it rings, because someone actually has the nerve to call me on my phone, I often do not answer because, well, I just don't want to be bothered.
So, why do I keep my phone with me?
I've no freakin' clue.
Maybe it's the whole inner monologue of power and rejection? You know, I fear being alone, so I keep my phone with me at all times hoping for someone to reach out to me just so I know I exist and I am thought of. However, deep down inside I want the power to reject someone so that I feel more important to myself?
No... that can't be it. I think I keep it with me for all of the pictures I have stored in it's memory. So, I have my phone that I use to "talk" with people and share memories without really having to talk to them. Makes perfect sense!
Aaaaand... back on point...
A friend of mine posted a link on their Facebook page about Jim Neighbors getting married. That's great for him. In fact, I think that's awesome for him, mainly because I honestly thought he was dead. Getting married has got to be better than death... right?
So, in an attempt to be "cute" I commented "Well Golly" under her link. Jim Neighbors played Gomer and one of Gomer's catch phrases was "Well Golly" except that he stretched it out and said more of a (phonetically spelled) "Gahhhhhhahhhhleeeee!" So, that's what I was really going for, but you can't just type all of that phonetic nonsense. So, instead, I stretched out the O and really posted "Well Goooooolly."
Now look at that; "Gooooooolly." Sure, people understood what I was going for, but I basically typed a word that should be pronounce more closely to "goonie."
In fact, the person who commented after me tried her best to mimic Gomer's other catch phrase where he says "Surprise, surprise surprise" except that she avoided phonetic correctness and went with "suuuuuuuurprise, suuuuurprise suuuuuurprise" which just doesn't work for me. Especially because I thought he enhanced the Prise part of the word more than the Surp.
But I digress.
Does this not annoy you as it does me? I am victimized by my own attempt at humor. I could go with the correct phonetic approach, but that would be visually unpleasing. So I go with the more visually aesthetic variation closer to the original words design but I have created a different sounding word altogether.
Now, for some reason, the same problem does not apply to southern swear words. You know, like "Dayum" and "Sheeyut!" You can use the phonetic spellings to make your point and include the southern drawl but that's only because we do not want to spell out swear words in print.
So, typing them funny or incorrectly makes them more acceptable!
Am I right?
You're G@%d&!ned right I'm F$*?ing right! Just so you know, I didn't actually swear there. The first word is just a mess of letters and the second word was really "fishing."
But there's other cases in print where you just can't use the more accurate phonetic spelling (which should be spelled FONEHTIK) as opposed to the incorrect sounding more accurate looking word. For example, when you foolishly thought I was swearing in that last paragraph, did you think to yourself "Nohhhhhhhhh Dooooooood" or did you think "Noooooooo Duuuuuuuuuude?" The fist one is "No Dude" and the second one is clearly "New Duddy." However, the second one is more visually pleasing.
There are so many more cases but I'm almost certain I am losing you, so I will move on to another example of what we're losing by communicating through text.
Here, I've got a question for you. What's that song on organ that you sometimes hear at a wedding or some event at a church. You know the one. It goes like this
duh duh
d-duh duh
d-duh duh
d-duh duh
d-duh duh
d-duh duh
d-duh duh
d-duh duh
dah duh duh
d-duh duh
d-duh duh
d-duh duh
d-duh duh
d-duh duh
d-duh duh
d-duh duh
And repeats slowly changing to lower octaves each go around until it starts back up at the top again in the original octave?
Now don't confuse with that other one, that should never be played at a wedding, that goes:
Dah Dah Dah Duhhhhh
Dah Dah Dah Duhhhhh
Dah Dah Dah Duh Dah Dah Dah Duh Dah Dah Dah Duhhhhh
Dah Dah Dah Duh Dah Dah Dah Duh Dah Dah Dah Duhhhhh
and so on....
So my point is, without actually talking face to face and trying to sing this melody to someone your chances are slim in finding out what it is. Granted actually singing it to them in person may actually increase your chances of being locked up.
Maybe I'm putting too much thought into this? Perhaps fonehtik spelling is the wave of the future? In fact please read the text below that I've copied and pasted from the page I've linked it to:
"May Ive yr attn plz? Ncase u may nt av realized, txt msgN hs Bcum a vry populA 4m of r Coms. sum ppl av diFrent ideas bout hw txt msgN S afectin r lang. S txtN makeing us laZ n iliter8 or openng r minds 2 nu 4m of lerning n lang?"
Oh Crap. We're screwed.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
"And I stiiiiill haven't found, what I'm looking for..." Or have I?
I have to say, the greatest love in my life will always be my daughter. So let me just put that one out there right now! Before I go any further, I think it is safe to say that the way I feel about my child is unconditional!
Now with that stated, she IS going to leave me. She needs to leave. As a parent, I am raising her to be able to stand on her own and go off and be her own person and live her own life. She has to make her own mistakes and experience her own thrills in attempt to achieve her own level of greatness!
That breaks down to the basic fact that I will always love her and she will leave me. She has to.
Now, as a parent, I started out married. I felt remarkably similar about my wife as I do about my child. However, apparently, much like my own child, our marriage was all about me helping her grow to a point where she could eventually leave me too. YUP.
Soooooo ... I can try to invest my love in a dog right? A dog will love me unconditionally and I must admit, I will keep any dog I adopt for the duration of their life, but I am not certain if my love is "unconditional." It's the whole "Don't crap in the house" condition. I'm pretty keen on dogs accepting every aspect of "the world outside is your bathroom... the world inside is your bed" policy. But if they can't get the whole "don't go potty in the house" thing, that my friends is a condition!
But aside from that, dogs leave too. I've never had one run away, but painfully enough, they die young. They are such fragile creatures that we accept into our family. Three dogs in three years has not given me the confidence in yet another long lasting relationship. Yes, one dog I lost to old age a little over three years ago and a second I lost at 18 months old to a fluke illness of sorts. My current dog has been with me a little over a year now. She is a great joy, but she's still nuts. I'm guessing that in about two years she'll settle down and be "normal" and then I'll have maybe 8 more years with her? It's sad to think about it, but she will leave me too.
So, what do I know right now....
So, I can be all macho and say "I love my truck!" It is scary to me how much people have loved their cars in the past.
"WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT? I'VE BEEN POLISHING HER UP ALL DAY! I USE SPECIAL SOAP AND WAX AND CHAMOIS HER WHOLE BODY EVERY SATURDAY!!! LOOK AT THAT CHROME SHINE!" Followed by, with much less excitement I might add, "over there is the wife and kids. Honey, could you move, you're blocking the sun light from hitting HER front bumper."
Nope, that's not me! Sure, I do appreciate my truck but it's going on ten years. Yes, it takes me where I want to go, but I'm pretty sure I have some say in it. Let's face it, it's a vehicle to serve a purpose.
I'm just not the car loving type.
So, what I am looking for you might ask?
Well:
I want to be loved unconditionally too!
I do NOT want to be judged for what I am wearing, or the lack there of, at any given time!
I DO want to be held; hey, I'm an 80's guy!
I want to be able to lounge around for hours and watch television.
I do not want to have ANY fear of ever being left!
I want soft skin to caress at all times.
I want it to get better with age!
Well, guess what folks! I have found what I've been looking for all these years!!!
Yes... goals and perspective do change after 40! Just... just be happy for me!
Now with that stated, she IS going to leave me. She needs to leave. As a parent, I am raising her to be able to stand on her own and go off and be her own person and live her own life. She has to make her own mistakes and experience her own thrills in attempt to achieve her own level of greatness!
That breaks down to the basic fact that I will always love her and she will leave me. She has to.
Now, as a parent, I started out married. I felt remarkably similar about my wife as I do about my child. However, apparently, much like my own child, our marriage was all about me helping her grow to a point where she could eventually leave me too. YUP.
Soooooo ... I can try to invest my love in a dog right? A dog will love me unconditionally and I must admit, I will keep any dog I adopt for the duration of their life, but I am not certain if my love is "unconditional." It's the whole "Don't crap in the house" condition. I'm pretty keen on dogs accepting every aspect of "the world outside is your bathroom... the world inside is your bed" policy. But if they can't get the whole "don't go potty in the house" thing, that my friends is a condition!
But aside from that, dogs leave too. I've never had one run away, but painfully enough, they die young. They are such fragile creatures that we accept into our family. Three dogs in three years has not given me the confidence in yet another long lasting relationship. Yes, one dog I lost to old age a little over three years ago and a second I lost at 18 months old to a fluke illness of sorts. My current dog has been with me a little over a year now. She is a great joy, but she's still nuts. I'm guessing that in about two years she'll settle down and be "normal" and then I'll have maybe 8 more years with her? It's sad to think about it, but she will leave me too.
So, what do I know right now....
- Kids = Leave
- Spouses = Leave
- Pets = Leave
So, I can be all macho and say "I love my truck!" It is scary to me how much people have loved their cars in the past.
"WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT? I'VE BEEN POLISHING HER UP ALL DAY! I USE SPECIAL SOAP AND WAX AND CHAMOIS HER WHOLE BODY EVERY SATURDAY!!! LOOK AT THAT CHROME SHINE!" Followed by, with much less excitement I might add, "over there is the wife and kids. Honey, could you move, you're blocking the sun light from hitting HER front bumper."
Nope, that's not me! Sure, I do appreciate my truck but it's going on ten years. Yes, it takes me where I want to go, but I'm pretty sure I have some say in it. Let's face it, it's a vehicle to serve a purpose.
I'm just not the car loving type.
So, what I am looking for you might ask?
Well:
I want to be loved unconditionally too!
I do NOT want to be judged for what I am wearing, or the lack there of, at any given time!
I DO want to be held; hey, I'm an 80's guy!
I want to be able to lounge around for hours and watch television.
I do not want to have ANY fear of ever being left!
I want soft skin to caress at all times.
I want it to get better with age!
Well, guess what folks! I have found what I've been looking for all these years!!!
 |
| You've been with me all along and you'll NEVER leave me oh so comfy chair! |
Yes... goals and perspective do change after 40! Just... just be happy for me!
Friday, January 25, 2013
I am still writing.. but I am so easily distracted... WAFFLES
I swear I'm writing. I do it every day. The problem is that I am unable to finish. I am unable to finish every day.
Actually I have about 12 incomplete posts right now and one of those has been on hold since the very week I started this thing.
You know, I wrote so much when I started and my mind kept generating new stuff to write. It's all still there. But lately, as soon as I get started, I find my mind wandering.
Have you ever seen the movie "Awakenings?" It's that whole Robert Deniro comes out of a Coma with the help of "El Dopa" story. El Dopa sounds like something that would have the opposite effect on you. Anyway, once he's essentially "awake" he starts living a life. However, eventually, he needed more and more El Dopa until it got to the point where it simply didn't work anymore.
Well that has very little to do with me. However, I guess my point is that the blog, when I first started it, really helped me focus. I would sit at my computer with an idea in my head, and I'd start typing it out. As soon as I was finished, I had a rush of accomplishment. "To hell with paying bills or cleaning my house! I've got a blog to write!" Is pretty much how I felt.
So here I am 7 months later and the thoughts are still flying through my head and I still sit to write, but suddenly, I'll get up and clean my house, pay my bills, feed my child, walk my dog, take my cold medicine, deal with being sad over the holidays, go on a date, do my job, play a game, watch a movie....
I noticed my focus first slowing down when my daughter's school year started. Wow! It is amazing how her schedule is such a major part of my life! Granted, I live for that. Unfortunately that's not as consistent as I had originally hoped for what with her having to grow up in two households and all.
Then, football season started. I work on the weekends a lot during college sports seasons. And, so, exhaustion and just being busy sets in.
As the football season came to an end, I was lambasted by the holidays. You, know that time of year when no matter how happy you try to be and no matter how much happy stuff you try to surround yourself with you can't help but be sad about everyone you've lost and how where your life is right now is NOTHING like what you had hoped for. Seriously, I know people who have lives I'd love to have who are sad about it and wish they had my life. HAH!!!!
As a kid the holidays are blast because you can enjoy them for what they are. A time to celebrate! But as an adult, they become reminders of better times, or just a time of "reflection." Growing up sucks sometimes!
I stay in hotels quite often as of late. Do you remember when you were a kid and staying in a hotel was like sleeping in a them park? It was SO EXCITING AND NEW!!!! As an adult, all I want is my own bed and my own pillows and dammit, MY OWN COFFEE MAKER!!!
It's like going to McDonald's. As a kid, eating at McDonald's was a victory in your life. As an adult, it is a complete failure. When I go to McDonald's now, I try to eat healthy, or as healthy as I can. I might try a salad, but often I'll go with the grilled chicken sandwich. However, as I have been informed by my so-called friends, "going to McDonald's for something healthy is liking going to a hooker for a hug."
Well, I don't have need for a hooker, but I sure could use a hug... AND A GRILLED CHICKEN SANDWICH IN MY OWN BED!!!
Of course (getting somewhat back on point here) once I survived the holidays the new year started. We're remarkably busy at work and I've been on the road a lot on the weekends, staying in a nice hotel. Of course, "nice hotel" indicates to me these days that it loses some of the niceties I'm looking for. Maybe I'm just not classy enough, but, now matter how nice the hotel, as I mentioned before, I miss my bed, my pillows and my coffee maker!
Nope... I missed my point...
Of course, yes, I can compensate with the hotel coffee maker in my room and then grab a cup from the lobby on my way out. However, at this particular "nice" hotel, there is no free coffee in the lobby. No, they have a nice bistro where I can pay for a cup of coffee. But worst of all, the one thing that I actually DO love about staying in a hotel these days is making my own waffle in the morning (seriously, I may not be classy). But this nicer hotel (which I really do appreciate) that I've stayed at three times this month alone, WON'T LET ME MAKE MY OWN DAMN WAFFLE!!!! I have to go to the bistro if I wanna eat in the hotel and the bistro don't got no waffles!
Get back on point (again). I'm writing still.
Actually I have about 12 incomplete posts right now and one of those has been on hold since the very week I started this thing.
You know, I wrote so much when I started and my mind kept generating new stuff to write. It's all still there. But lately, as soon as I get started, I find my mind wandering.
Have you ever seen the movie "Awakenings?" It's that whole Robert Deniro comes out of a Coma with the help of "El Dopa" story. El Dopa sounds like something that would have the opposite effect on you. Anyway, once he's essentially "awake" he starts living a life. However, eventually, he needed more and more El Dopa until it got to the point where it simply didn't work anymore.
Well that has very little to do with me. However, I guess my point is that the blog, when I first started it, really helped me focus. I would sit at my computer with an idea in my head, and I'd start typing it out. As soon as I was finished, I had a rush of accomplishment. "To hell with paying bills or cleaning my house! I've got a blog to write!" Is pretty much how I felt.
So here I am 7 months later and the thoughts are still flying through my head and I still sit to write, but suddenly, I'll get up and clean my house, pay my bills, feed my child, walk my dog, take my cold medicine, deal with being sad over the holidays, go on a date, do my job, play a game, watch a movie....
I noticed my focus first slowing down when my daughter's school year started. Wow! It is amazing how her schedule is such a major part of my life! Granted, I live for that. Unfortunately that's not as consistent as I had originally hoped for what with her having to grow up in two households and all.
Then, football season started. I work on the weekends a lot during college sports seasons. And, so, exhaustion and just being busy sets in.
As the football season came to an end, I was lambasted by the holidays. You, know that time of year when no matter how happy you try to be and no matter how much happy stuff you try to surround yourself with you can't help but be sad about everyone you've lost and how where your life is right now is NOTHING like what you had hoped for. Seriously, I know people who have lives I'd love to have who are sad about it and wish they had my life. HAH!!!!
As a kid the holidays are blast because you can enjoy them for what they are. A time to celebrate! But as an adult, they become reminders of better times, or just a time of "reflection." Growing up sucks sometimes!
I stay in hotels quite often as of late. Do you remember when you were a kid and staying in a hotel was like sleeping in a them park? It was SO EXCITING AND NEW!!!! As an adult, all I want is my own bed and my own pillows and dammit, MY OWN COFFEE MAKER!!!
It's like going to McDonald's. As a kid, eating at McDonald's was a victory in your life. As an adult, it is a complete failure. When I go to McDonald's now, I try to eat healthy, or as healthy as I can. I might try a salad, but often I'll go with the grilled chicken sandwich. However, as I have been informed by my so-called friends, "going to McDonald's for something healthy is liking going to a hooker for a hug."
Well, I don't have need for a hooker, but I sure could use a hug... AND A GRILLED CHICKEN SANDWICH IN MY OWN BED!!!
Of course (getting somewhat back on point here) once I survived the holidays the new year started. We're remarkably busy at work and I've been on the road a lot on the weekends, staying in a nice hotel. Of course, "nice hotel" indicates to me these days that it loses some of the niceties I'm looking for. Maybe I'm just not classy enough, but, now matter how nice the hotel, as I mentioned before, I miss my bed, my pillows and my coffee maker!
Nope... I missed my point...
Of course, yes, I can compensate with the hotel coffee maker in my room and then grab a cup from the lobby on my way out. However, at this particular "nice" hotel, there is no free coffee in the lobby. No, they have a nice bistro where I can pay for a cup of coffee. But worst of all, the one thing that I actually DO love about staying in a hotel these days is making my own waffle in the morning (seriously, I may not be classy). But this nicer hotel (which I really do appreciate) that I've stayed at three times this month alone, WON'T LET ME MAKE MY OWN DAMN WAFFLE!!!! I have to go to the bistro if I wanna eat in the hotel and the bistro don't got no waffles!
Get back on point (again). I'm writing still.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Love Letter to a Twerp
I found this file on my computer today.
I had completely forgotten that I had written this to a co-worker after having worked together for only 9 months. Wow. I was obviously un-pleased with him. But I am oh so proud of my writing!
Please keep in mind as you read this, that yes, we were friends (and still may be having not spoken in a few years) and yes, he wrote something similar to me but mine was WAY BETTER!!!
Please keep in mind as you read this, that yes, we were friends (and still may be having not spoken in a few years) and yes, he wrote something similar to me but mine was WAY BETTER!!!
May 16,
2007
Dear "You,"
You suck. . . I do not mean this in a metaphysical way, or even a
homo-erotic/ sexual way. I certainly do not mean that you do in
fact compel anything or anyone to approach you.
It is more that you suck as much as a black hole that devours everything in existence around it including any sense of joy, reason, logic, respect, pleasantries, and all general socially accepted activities, mannerisms and niceties. It then basically corrupts these and excretes them from some unknown end into a state of limbo never to be enjoyed again.
It is more that you suck as much as a black hole that devours everything in existence around it including any sense of joy, reason, logic, respect, pleasantries, and all general socially accepted activities, mannerisms and niceties. It then basically corrupts these and excretes them from some unknown end into a state of limbo never to be enjoyed again.
It is much too clear that you have designed the world around you to reflect such a disdain for all there is to cherish. Being that you have been successful existing within such an environment as you desire, I commend you. "Well done" as it were.
With that said, your fascination with fecal matter, flatulence, various forms of contempt and misery including the “screaming and whining” from the other side of that sarcophagus you call an office brings to the forefront the idea that what you truly need is a hug. Not from me mind you . . . in fact if you try, I will promptly relocate your testicles from nether to within, making them dangle from your ear-lobes like a Peruvian Headpiece!
I spurn
you as I would spurn a rabid dog.
You are a pain in my side! I am not referring to a cramp one may receive while jogging (that’s a form of exercise you ubiquitous dolt)! I am not even referring to a pain so gentle as to be given by the compassionate hands of Longinus!
No, you sir are much more like a small city that is growing as though it were a cancer. Urban sprawl gushing from within and vomiting itself in virgin terrain spreading pollution, sewage and trendy little café’s all about mucking up a perfectly good side of my body! From within this growth, pains radiate through my skull at the mere mention of your concerns as if they were a visit from one of those kids who stop by right when you’re sitting down for dinner to see if you will purchase a magazine subscription so that they may attend college. Oh yeah, like any school that promotes it’s curriculum before it promotes its’ dining hall menu is going to be pleased with your application!
Your misery and inner monologue of utter disgust would be cause for even Yoda to collapse in tears and wish for flowers to arrange for the mere opportunity to find “a place happy.”
You are a pain in my side! I am not referring to a cramp one may receive while jogging (that’s a form of exercise you ubiquitous dolt)! I am not even referring to a pain so gentle as to be given by the compassionate hands of Longinus!
No, you sir are much more like a small city that is growing as though it were a cancer. Urban sprawl gushing from within and vomiting itself in virgin terrain spreading pollution, sewage and trendy little café’s all about mucking up a perfectly good side of my body! From within this growth, pains radiate through my skull at the mere mention of your concerns as if they were a visit from one of those kids who stop by right when you’re sitting down for dinner to see if you will purchase a magazine subscription so that they may attend college. Oh yeah, like any school that promotes it’s curriculum before it promotes its’ dining hall menu is going to be pleased with your application!
Your misery and inner monologue of utter disgust would be cause for even Yoda to collapse in tears and wish for flowers to arrange for the mere opportunity to find “a place happy.”
My only hope is that you get a paper cut from this very note which causes you great annoyance and brings you to such a low state that you attempt to remove your head with this very same paper cutting letter that has given me so much joy to write. You will fail at your paper cut decapitation as you have failed at not being a social pariah! And I pray that your pending failure may humble you greatly!
Good day to you sir... I. said. good. DAY!
"Me."
"Me."
So, yeah... apparently that's what I sounded like "angry" a little less than 6 years ago.
Don't cross me. 'Cuz, given time to carefully think about my response, I might just put you in your place!!! Or at the very least, a place.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Pugsly and (The one that has little to do with) The All Nighter
I had a dream last night about the only "all nighter" study session that I ever had in college. I really did that. Once.
My old friend "Pugsly" and I decided that we were going to stay up all night and study for our exam! This was the first end of semester exam period of our Freshman year. It was the 80's. It was a crazy time! But I wasn't stressed in the least. It was his idea and Pugsly had never led me astray before.
I had been through midterm exams and those freaked me out more than I had ever been freaked out before. I got so upset about being worried about my exams that I called my Mom up and scolded her for raising me to have such a "worry gene." She laughed at me over the phone but I like to think that when she hung up with me, she was worried.
I finally called "Merph" a girlfriend of mine (in the traditional sense that she's a girl and we're friends) who was a Junior and had been through these "mid terms" before. In her best air-traffic-control-tower-operator-trying-to-talk-down-a-passenger-who-is-now-flying-the-private-plane-because-the-pilot-died-having-just-eaten-the-fish-dinner voice, she calmly and seriously said "okay, now, do you have a beer or can you get access to a beer or any sort of alcohol....." There was more to it, and I was able to find an emergency beer. Eventually I relaxed.
So anyway, "Pugsly" was, of course, his nickname and to this day, I do not know why he was given that name. He looked nothing like Pugsly from the Adams Family and he certainly didn't look like a Pug. I had no part in his nickname.
We lived on the same floor in a dorm with roughly 39 of us on the floor. I think there were 20 rooms shared by two roommates except that one room was a single where the RA lived. The RA (Residential Advisor) was essentially the "warden." Anyway, we shared one "community shower" that had like six spigots. Dorm life was not glamorous.
Of all of the guys living on our floor, almost all of them were from New Jersey. I could never figure out why so many people from that state would come south for college. I still don't get it. As best as I can tell, when I see how many people from New Jersey migrate south for college, I don't think there is anyone left to occupy New Jersey. But somehow there is.
My first roommate that semester was from New Jersey. I did give him a nickname; "Cockroach." He LOVED IT! I was not a big fan of him. He ended up switching rooms and moving in with another guy from New Jersey. His nickname was "Bonernose." I had no part in his nickname, but, it was pretty spot on. Bonernose was a nice guy as I recall.
To the best of my memory, I was not overly popular on my hall. It wasn't that no one liked me, I just didn't fit in and so I pretty much did my own thing. Pugsly and I were both from the same southern state, although I am a Chicago transplant myself, but that happened about ten years before college. So, in the eyes of all the New Jersey folks, we were both "Southerners." I was fine with this.
Anyway, Pugsly fit in. They liked him. He's a great guy. He always had the best spirit and wasn't shy, (I'm actually ridiculously shy, although when I tell people that, they laugh in my face). So, Pugsly seemed to be quite comfortable with watching out for me and making sure I was "in the know" with everyone on my hall. He'd invite me to join them on their adventures, and I would when I could, and he'd basically just make sure I wasn't too far out of the loop.
And whenever we'd go to a club (they were really just bars, but we were minors so, I'll refer to these as clubs), he'd always tell me after we got in "You point 'em out and I'll introduce!" And I'll be damned, he'd do it. I'd point to some cute little girl and he'd walk right up to her and a few minutes later she and I were laughing with each other bellied up the to club (bar).
I so admired his lack of fear. It wasn't a stupid lack of fear like "watch me stand up to this oncoming truck that cannot possibly see me standing in the middle of the road," but more his comfort with himself and ability to just talk to anybody with no apparent self-centered purpose. To this date, if I walk up to a girl I'm interested in, I'm lucky if I can get out two words that make sense. If I go for more than two words, I pretty much say EVERYTHING.
Yes, my defense for shyness is to just talk. People think that makes you "not shy" but no, it is really just a diversion. Really, it's like singing on stage. I had to do that a lot in my younger days. I actually have stage fright. However, if everyone was distracted by what I was singing, they wouldn't notice me. At least that's what got me through. The music was the diversion. Doesn't make sense to you? Works for me!
I learned to trust Pugsly and feel secure around him. No, not in a dreamy "his arms are so big and cozy and I feel safe when he holds me" type way as a.) I'm all about the ladies b.) he's all about the ladies and c.) it could never work because he was so much smaller than me; seriously, I don't think he could even get his arms around me. But, more in a "he was a good friend" way.
He was one of the first people in college I felt like I could be myself around and he wasn't going to give me a hard time about it. Really, back then he was a great guy. He may still be one now, but I don't know. We're just social network friends. I don't think we've actually spoken in 22 years. Nothing happened. College ended and he moved. It's not like that. Stop whatever it is that you're thinking....
I just hope he's not a real jerk now.
So when he said "hey man, let's pull an all nighter to study," I was all like "ok." I trusted his judgement.
And so, basically we studied a lot.
We went to the 7-11 across the street for coffee a few times.
I was so tired that I was dizzy when I took my exam and I only think I passed because the Graduate Assistant giving the exam felt sorry for me.
I swore to myself I would never do that again and I never did.
I didn't say the all nighter dream was a good dream... I just said that I had it.
Oh yeah, one of my nicknames in college was "Woody" because I had a '76 Volare Station Wagon with simulated wood grain paneling on the side.
There you go.
My old friend "Pugsly" and I decided that we were going to stay up all night and study for our exam! This was the first end of semester exam period of our Freshman year. It was the 80's. It was a crazy time! But I wasn't stressed in the least. It was his idea and Pugsly had never led me astray before.
I had been through midterm exams and those freaked me out more than I had ever been freaked out before. I got so upset about being worried about my exams that I called my Mom up and scolded her for raising me to have such a "worry gene." She laughed at me over the phone but I like to think that when she hung up with me, she was worried.
I finally called "Merph" a girlfriend of mine (in the traditional sense that she's a girl and we're friends) who was a Junior and had been through these "mid terms" before. In her best air-traffic-control-tower-operator-trying-to-talk-down-a-passenger-who-is-now-flying-the-private-plane-because-the-pilot-died-having-just-eaten-the-fish-dinner voice, she calmly and seriously said "okay, now, do you have a beer or can you get access to a beer or any sort of alcohol....." There was more to it, and I was able to find an emergency beer. Eventually I relaxed.
So anyway, "Pugsly" was, of course, his nickname and to this day, I do not know why he was given that name. He looked nothing like Pugsly from the Adams Family and he certainly didn't look like a Pug. I had no part in his nickname.
We lived on the same floor in a dorm with roughly 39 of us on the floor. I think there were 20 rooms shared by two roommates except that one room was a single where the RA lived. The RA (Residential Advisor) was essentially the "warden." Anyway, we shared one "community shower" that had like six spigots. Dorm life was not glamorous.
Of all of the guys living on our floor, almost all of them were from New Jersey. I could never figure out why so many people from that state would come south for college. I still don't get it. As best as I can tell, when I see how many people from New Jersey migrate south for college, I don't think there is anyone left to occupy New Jersey. But somehow there is.
My first roommate that semester was from New Jersey. I did give him a nickname; "Cockroach." He LOVED IT! I was not a big fan of him. He ended up switching rooms and moving in with another guy from New Jersey. His nickname was "Bonernose." I had no part in his nickname, but, it was pretty spot on. Bonernose was a nice guy as I recall.
To the best of my memory, I was not overly popular on my hall. It wasn't that no one liked me, I just didn't fit in and so I pretty much did my own thing. Pugsly and I were both from the same southern state, although I am a Chicago transplant myself, but that happened about ten years before college. So, in the eyes of all the New Jersey folks, we were both "Southerners." I was fine with this.
Anyway, Pugsly fit in. They liked him. He's a great guy. He always had the best spirit and wasn't shy, (I'm actually ridiculously shy, although when I tell people that, they laugh in my face). So, Pugsly seemed to be quite comfortable with watching out for me and making sure I was "in the know" with everyone on my hall. He'd invite me to join them on their adventures, and I would when I could, and he'd basically just make sure I wasn't too far out of the loop.
And whenever we'd go to a club (they were really just bars, but we were minors so, I'll refer to these as clubs), he'd always tell me after we got in "You point 'em out and I'll introduce!" And I'll be damned, he'd do it. I'd point to some cute little girl and he'd walk right up to her and a few minutes later she and I were laughing with each other bellied up the to club (bar).
I so admired his lack of fear. It wasn't a stupid lack of fear like "watch me stand up to this oncoming truck that cannot possibly see me standing in the middle of the road," but more his comfort with himself and ability to just talk to anybody with no apparent self-centered purpose. To this date, if I walk up to a girl I'm interested in, I'm lucky if I can get out two words that make sense. If I go for more than two words, I pretty much say EVERYTHING.
Yes, my defense for shyness is to just talk. People think that makes you "not shy" but no, it is really just a diversion. Really, it's like singing on stage. I had to do that a lot in my younger days. I actually have stage fright. However, if everyone was distracted by what I was singing, they wouldn't notice me. At least that's what got me through. The music was the diversion. Doesn't make sense to you? Works for me!
I learned to trust Pugsly and feel secure around him. No, not in a dreamy "his arms are so big and cozy and I feel safe when he holds me" type way as a.) I'm all about the ladies b.) he's all about the ladies and c.) it could never work because he was so much smaller than me; seriously, I don't think he could even get his arms around me. But, more in a "he was a good friend" way.
He was one of the first people in college I felt like I could be myself around and he wasn't going to give me a hard time about it. Really, back then he was a great guy. He may still be one now, but I don't know. We're just social network friends. I don't think we've actually spoken in 22 years. Nothing happened. College ended and he moved. It's not like that. Stop whatever it is that you're thinking....
I just hope he's not a real jerk now.
So when he said "hey man, let's pull an all nighter to study," I was all like "ok." I trusted his judgement.
And so, basically we studied a lot.
We went to the 7-11 across the street for coffee a few times.
I was so tired that I was dizzy when I took my exam and I only think I passed because the Graduate Assistant giving the exam felt sorry for me.
I swore to myself I would never do that again and I never did.
I didn't say the all nighter dream was a good dream... I just said that I had it.
Oh yeah, one of my nicknames in college was "Woody" because I had a '76 Volare Station Wagon with simulated wood grain paneling on the side.
There you go.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Things I had forgotten that I too had to learn.
Inevitably this has happened to you... surely it has?
You're in the bathroom at home. You're kneeling on the seat with the lid off of the back of your toilet and you're up to your elbows in icy cold water. It's winter, so the water is cold. The chain broke and the toilet will not flush, so you are now working (and freezing) in the cold water.
Your fingers are hurting as you try to replace the chain or just reattach some portion of the chain from the flapper thingy at the bottom to the flusher thingy at the top. Your fingers are reeeeeeally hurting.
It's at this point that you see your child standing just off to your side where you can barely see her in your peripheral. The blessed angel, only moments ago, sheepishly approached you in the living room to nervously announce "Daddy, the toilet won't flush." She now stands with some distance between you both, but not so much that cannot see where your hands are, staring at you in horror.
"Is... is there poop in there?" she asks ashamedly.
And that's when it hits you...
As a parent we know we're supposed to teach our kids the basic "don't go out and get yourself maimed or killed today by doing something stupid" rules like:
And then we also teach them some of the basics like, math, how to use dishes and silverware, how not to use a plastic bag.... yada yada yada...
But there are other things that we just end up teaching our kids because, you just know. For example, "No honey, there is nothing nasty in the back part of the toilet. That is clean water that flushes the nasty stuff that you just did far far away!"
And now she has learned.
But there are other things that we as adults simply take for granted that we know. I have no idea when I learned them but I'm certain I had to. Now I am learning all over again that at some point I must have learned them because I now know and you, the kid, obviously do not know.
Our kids are smart. Probably even smarter than we were at their age. Luckily, they're smart enough to ask questions about things that may seem silly to us but, well, they just need to know! Some of the things that I have taught my child that I did not mean or intend to teach her, but she obviously needed to know, are as follows:
You're in the bathroom at home. You're kneeling on the seat with the lid off of the back of your toilet and you're up to your elbows in icy cold water. It's winter, so the water is cold. The chain broke and the toilet will not flush, so you are now working (and freezing) in the cold water.
Your fingers are hurting as you try to replace the chain or just reattach some portion of the chain from the flapper thingy at the bottom to the flusher thingy at the top. Your fingers are reeeeeeally hurting.
It's at this point that you see your child standing just off to your side where you can barely see her in your peripheral. The blessed angel, only moments ago, sheepishly approached you in the living room to nervously announce "Daddy, the toilet won't flush." She now stands with some distance between you both, but not so much that cannot see where your hands are, staring at you in horror.
"Is... is there poop in there?" she asks ashamedly.
And that's when it hits you...
As a parent we know we're supposed to teach our kids the basic "don't go out and get yourself maimed or killed today by doing something stupid" rules like:
- Wait 30 minutes before swimming after eating
- Don't stick your finger in the power outlet
- Don't hide in the refrigerator
- Don't play in traffic
- Don't stick your finger in the garbage disposal
- Don't jump off a bridge with "ANY NAME HERE" (again)
- Don't talk to strangers
- Don't stick your finger in that dog
- In fact, keep your fingers to yourself
- Stay away from hot things
And then we also teach them some of the basics like, math, how to use dishes and silverware, how not to use a plastic bag.... yada yada yada...
But there are other things that we just end up teaching our kids because, you just know. For example, "No honey, there is nothing nasty in the back part of the toilet. That is clean water that flushes the nasty stuff that you just did far far away!"
And now she has learned.
But there are other things that we as adults simply take for granted that we know. I have no idea when I learned them but I'm certain I had to. Now I am learning all over again that at some point I must have learned them because I now know and you, the kid, obviously do not know.
Our kids are smart. Probably even smarter than we were at their age. Luckily, they're smart enough to ask questions about things that may seem silly to us but, well, they just need to know! Some of the things that I have taught my child that I did not mean or intend to teach her, but she obviously needed to know, are as follows:
- Of course, the whole "good water in the back part of the toilet" thing
- Sometimes firemen just drive firetrucks around town and to stores and restaurants and that's not because the place is on fire or is going to be on fire or was recently on fire. It's because they needed a big truck to drive that they could all ride in and you have to drive things quite often to make sure they still work.
- Sometimes ambulance people just drive ambulances around town and to stores and restaurants and that's not because some one is hurt or is going to be hurt or was recently hurt. It's because they sit in their ambulances all day and it's just what they drive.
- YES COPS TOO!!!
- No, there is nobody inside the teller machine.
- Well yes the other day we did see someone coming out of the teller machine but that was only because he was getting some stuff out of the teller machine. He was only in there for a second.
- Okay, so yes, technically someone has to work "inside" of the teller machine from time to time but there is no one staffing it from the inside doling out money.
- In this context, "Staffing" means working and "doling" means handing.
- "Context" means how I used the word in this case. Okay just stop with the %$#$!!! QUESTIONS!!!
- Yes %$#$!!! was a bad word and I'm sorry I said it and I don't want you to ever say it. Let's go get ice cream.
- Yes, although you never see them, there are baby pigeons.
- No, not all clowns are killers.. just some... no you cannot tell which ones.
Monday, January 7, 2013
You Say You Want a Resolution... Well, y'know?
It's been almost a week into 2013 and so I guess it's time I get around to declaring what I am going to change about myself to make my life better for a year.
Oh sure, on December 31st, 2012, I spent the day reflecting on every resolution I had made for 2012 knowing I had failed miserably at each and everyone. But by now, that was a year ago! It's time to move on... haha... NOT.
I think last year I promised myself that I would lose weight, save more money and let go of my past. How did it work out for me you might ask?
It does seem that each year, I set goals on the very first day and I start a countdown to failure. No matter where my good intentions are for myself and for those around me, the world still happens....
"I want to lose weight"- Family members feed me a lot, co-workers bring cakes, friends get together in bars and eating establishments (instead of back alleys), my kid forces me to eat ice cream....
"I want to save money"- taxes go up, benefits become more expensive, cars break, medical issues occur...
"I want to forget my past"- Pictures, Social Networking, Family, Photos, My "past" sending me an e-mail telling me how pissed off it is that I didn't handle something the way it chose to handle that something without discussing it with me first so I went off in a different and apparently wrong direction...
The cards are stacked against me.
In fact all of us.
It seems that failure is always prevalent in any attempt at anything. But that doesn't mean "GIVE UP BECAUSE EVERY EFFORT TO SUCCEED LEADS TO A CHANCE TO FAIL!" For me it just means accept the chance that you will fail whether it is an option or not. Failure isn't always overly significant as if to say that, "sure, there's a chance you are going to fail in putting that fork full of meatloaf in your mouth and hit your eye instead," but that's pretty slim chance of failure there and always a good reason to not get goofy drunk before eating meatloaf.
But yeah, "I'm going to lose weight over the next 365 days" is a great opportunity to fail. You really have to change your life. And even by not gaining weight and staying the same as I did, I still absolutely failed at losing weight. However I actually did lose weight a few times throughout the year. Of course, the problem is I celebrated with friends and family and beer and pizza and cake and sausage and little tiny cookies with very little calories that fool you into thinking that since they have so few calories you can eat a ton of them....
It's like quitting smoking. I know many people who set that as their goal every year:
Oh sure, on December 31st, 2012, I spent the day reflecting on every resolution I had made for 2012 knowing I had failed miserably at each and everyone. But by now, that was a year ago! It's time to move on... haha... NOT.
I think last year I promised myself that I would lose weight, save more money and let go of my past. How did it work out for me you might ask?
- Well, I certainly didn't lose weight, but actually, I weighed the same on Jan. 1 2013 as I did on Jan. 1 2012. However, I think I've gotten larger...so that's a FAIL.
- I was unable to save more money than I have any other year but did manage to pay off a lot of debt. But "debt" wasn't a factor in last years decree and so, I failed.
- Aaaaand letting go of my past... well, my past just keeps getting bigger and it is always thrown back in my face and people keep giving me pictures to remember the past... FAIL
It does seem that each year, I set goals on the very first day and I start a countdown to failure. No matter where my good intentions are for myself and for those around me, the world still happens....
"I want to lose weight"- Family members feed me a lot, co-workers bring cakes, friends get together in bars and eating establishments (instead of back alleys), my kid forces me to eat ice cream....
"I want to save money"- taxes go up, benefits become more expensive, cars break, medical issues occur...
"I want to forget my past"- Pictures, Social Networking, Family, Photos, My "past" sending me an e-mail telling me how pissed off it is that I didn't handle something the way it chose to handle that something without discussing it with me first so I went off in a different and apparently wrong direction...
The cards are stacked against me.
In fact all of us.
It seems that failure is always prevalent in any attempt at anything. But that doesn't mean "GIVE UP BECAUSE EVERY EFFORT TO SUCCEED LEADS TO A CHANCE TO FAIL!" For me it just means accept the chance that you will fail whether it is an option or not. Failure isn't always overly significant as if to say that, "sure, there's a chance you are going to fail in putting that fork full of meatloaf in your mouth and hit your eye instead," but that's pretty slim chance of failure there and always a good reason to not get goofy drunk before eating meatloaf.
But yeah, "I'm going to lose weight over the next 365 days" is a great opportunity to fail. You really have to change your life. And even by not gaining weight and staying the same as I did, I still absolutely failed at losing weight. However I actually did lose weight a few times throughout the year. Of course, the problem is I celebrated with friends and family and beer and pizza and cake and sausage and little tiny cookies with very little calories that fool you into thinking that since they have so few calories you can eat a ton of them....
It's like quitting smoking. I know many people who set that as their goal every year:
"This Year I WILL Quit SMOKING!!!"
Well, they do it. I know what I am about to say is controversial, but, SMOKING IS ONE OF THE EASIEST THINGS TO QUIT DOING!!!! There, I said it. It is. I've never been a smoker, but everyone I know quits smoking each and every day. Seriously, it's so "easy" to quit that most people do it 6 or 7 times a day.
The catch is the whole "NOT HAVING ANOTHER CIGARETTE!!!" That's the tough part. And that's the part that sucks. Of course, sure this may sound cryptic, but by setting the goal/ resolution of "QUITTING SMOKING" you will succeed over and over and over again. However it's the set back of picking up another cigarette that no smoker I know can forgive themselves for. So, they keep smoking.
Well this blog isn't about quitting smoking, as I do not smoke (and I am lucky to be ignorant of that particular addiction), but more about forgiving myself for not having complete success about achieving a goal or at the very least getting close to them.
So this year's resolution for me are going to be more limits than goals. I'll see how it goes.
- In 2013 I will refrain from gaining more weight and strive to keep off whatever I lose
- In 2013 I will NOT spend more money and try to save any amount that I can
- In 2013 I will work on accepting as well as reflecting on my past in an effort to avoid making the same mistakes; also I will give myself more time before responding to confusingly angry e-mails and texts from my "past."
I'll see how this works out and perhaps next year I'll make resolutions using the whole "Murphy Factor" and say things like "I plan to gain more weight and make less money" in hopes of the opposite actually occurring.
Oh yeah and:
4. In 2013 I will buy only winning lottery tickets! Failure is NOT an option?
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
The Calendar
I just set up my calendar for 2013.
It's nothing glamorous. It's the cheapest desk calendar that I could find at the office supply store.
Every year I start with a brand new crisp paper calendar with a cardboard back and plastic corners to keep the pages from going awry.
I take all twelve months and I plan them accordingly. I write down all events that I know of at the beginning of the year. I schedule all of my time with my child and all of my work holidays. I schedule all school holidays and I write down all of the birthdays for family and those special to me.
Yes, I also have all of this down on the calendars on my smart phone and it's comparable tablet but I want this laid out before me where I can see it all at once. Yes, I can wait for social networking to tell me who I am supposed to remember on any specific day, but again, I want it in writing.
It's the beginning of the year, I want to know what to expect for the next 12 months.
The pages are all so white clean and crisp. The corners are all so straight. The plastic seems to do it's job so well.
The calendar is complete.
I have it all scheduled out before me.
I know what to expect.
LET THE NEW YEAR BEGIN!!!
And so it does.
But very little tends to go as planned.
I find myself writing more onto my calendar in the first week alone, appointments, new birthdays, re-scheduled events, adjustments to my child's schedule....
As I flip through the months back and forth, I notice that January is no longer crisp. It had been pushed out of the way so many times that it is haggard and worn. I have scribbled so many "adjustments" on the page that it is more like an abused scratch pad than a crisp page of structure and organization. By the 31st, the page is ready to be torn away and recycled. As an entity, it wants this.
But it is no entity. It is merely one page of my life.
The cycle begins for February... and when I have reached the 28th, it can take no more. It must go.
Another page has turned, been ripped out and is gone.
By March I am adding vacations for me and for my child with and without me. It's the time without her that I do not wish to remember. Easter has passed and now MARCH MUST GO!
I try to remember very little of the nuisances I have scheduled on my calendars. And so there is a cleansing with the dismissal of each and every page.
I remember March of last year a co-worker gave me a slice of pizza and it dripped some grease onto March. The drip soaked through the pages and finally faded leaving it's final mark on September 16th. This was not an eventful day as I recall, but I did make a note of it on that March day so that on September 16th I'd know what I was looking at on my white crisp page.
As the months pass, each and every month I reach tends to start out less crisp than the last month. It is as though everything I schedule on the page for the month before is bearing down and pressuring the months to come.
As I flip pages in and out to see what is to come, the corners of each page become more and more curled and the plastic corners are no longer up for the task for which they were designed. They are mere decorations by the time I reach December.
As I tear away November, having delved once again into the "Holidays," my calendar looks worn down. It is beaten. It has been well used and has very little left to offer. On December 1st, the page looks as defeated as January did on the 31st all those pages ago.
I must work through this tired page and muster on. The page is cold and aged. It has scars on it from scribbles that were made on other pages when they were in their crispy prime. December is a page that was crisp and new on January 1st but is an old man by December 1st.
It had no prime.
As I scratch off the passing days through December, I can see the marks made in time, scribbles of some important meeting or a birthday of someone dear to me or an event that I did not wish to forget which I have evidently forgotten.
December bears the burden held by all of the pages throughout the year. It is the only page to see how the year was expected to go, what was changed and how it actually turned out. December is the one page that had the most time to age.
December is a tired old man welcoming the clean crisp youth of January. It is the only page to see the new calendar come to replace it. And so it rests before me as I fill out my next calendar.
The twelve pages are very real, but are certainly a metaphor for me for each and every year.
Perhaps it is more than a calendar for you?
Happy New Years everybody! May your pages stay crisp, clean and neat!
It's nothing glamorous. It's the cheapest desk calendar that I could find at the office supply store.
Every year I start with a brand new crisp paper calendar with a cardboard back and plastic corners to keep the pages from going awry.
I take all twelve months and I plan them accordingly. I write down all events that I know of at the beginning of the year. I schedule all of my time with my child and all of my work holidays. I schedule all school holidays and I write down all of the birthdays for family and those special to me.
Yes, I also have all of this down on the calendars on my smart phone and it's comparable tablet but I want this laid out before me where I can see it all at once. Yes, I can wait for social networking to tell me who I am supposed to remember on any specific day, but again, I want it in writing.
It's the beginning of the year, I want to know what to expect for the next 12 months.
The pages are all so white clean and crisp. The corners are all so straight. The plastic seems to do it's job so well.
The calendar is complete.
I have it all scheduled out before me.
I know what to expect.
LET THE NEW YEAR BEGIN!!!
And so it does.
But very little tends to go as planned.
I find myself writing more onto my calendar in the first week alone, appointments, new birthdays, re-scheduled events, adjustments to my child's schedule....
As I flip through the months back and forth, I notice that January is no longer crisp. It had been pushed out of the way so many times that it is haggard and worn. I have scribbled so many "adjustments" on the page that it is more like an abused scratch pad than a crisp page of structure and organization. By the 31st, the page is ready to be torn away and recycled. As an entity, it wants this.
But it is no entity. It is merely one page of my life.
The cycle begins for February... and when I have reached the 28th, it can take no more. It must go.
Another page has turned, been ripped out and is gone.
By March I am adding vacations for me and for my child with and without me. It's the time without her that I do not wish to remember. Easter has passed and now MARCH MUST GO!
I try to remember very little of the nuisances I have scheduled on my calendars. And so there is a cleansing with the dismissal of each and every page.
I remember March of last year a co-worker gave me a slice of pizza and it dripped some grease onto March. The drip soaked through the pages and finally faded leaving it's final mark on September 16th. This was not an eventful day as I recall, but I did make a note of it on that March day so that on September 16th I'd know what I was looking at on my white crisp page.
As the months pass, each and every month I reach tends to start out less crisp than the last month. It is as though everything I schedule on the page for the month before is bearing down and pressuring the months to come.
As I flip pages in and out to see what is to come, the corners of each page become more and more curled and the plastic corners are no longer up for the task for which they were designed. They are mere decorations by the time I reach December.
As I tear away November, having delved once again into the "Holidays," my calendar looks worn down. It is beaten. It has been well used and has very little left to offer. On December 1st, the page looks as defeated as January did on the 31st all those pages ago.
I must work through this tired page and muster on. The page is cold and aged. It has scars on it from scribbles that were made on other pages when they were in their crispy prime. December is a page that was crisp and new on January 1st but is an old man by December 1st.
It had no prime.
As I scratch off the passing days through December, I can see the marks made in time, scribbles of some important meeting or a birthday of someone dear to me or an event that I did not wish to forget which I have evidently forgotten.
December bears the burden held by all of the pages throughout the year. It is the only page to see how the year was expected to go, what was changed and how it actually turned out. December is the one page that had the most time to age.
December is a tired old man welcoming the clean crisp youth of January. It is the only page to see the new calendar come to replace it. And so it rests before me as I fill out my next calendar.
The twelve pages are very real, but are certainly a metaphor for me for each and every year.
Perhaps it is more than a calendar for you?
Happy New Years everybody! May your pages stay crisp, clean and neat!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)