You Say You Want a Resolution... Well, y'know?

It's been almost a week into 2013 and so I guess it's time I get around to declaring what I am going to change about myself to make my life better for a year.

Oh sure, on December 31st, 2012, I spent the day reflecting on every resolution I had made for 2012 knowing I had failed miserably at each and everyone.  But by now, that was a year ago!  It's time to move on... haha... NOT.

I think last year I promised myself that I would lose weight, save more money and let go of my past.  How did it work out for me you might ask?

• Well, I certainly didn't lose weight, but actually, I weighed the same on Jan. 1 2013 as I did on Jan. 1 2012.  However, I think I've gotten larger...so that's a FAIL.
• I was unable to save more money than I have any other year but did manage to pay off a lot of debt.  But "debt" wasn't a factor in last years decree and so, I failed.
• Aaaaand letting go of my past... well, my past just keeps getting bigger and it is always thrown back in my face and people keep giving me pictures to remember the past...  FAIL

So, although I survived the year and am certainly no worse off than I was, I'm not entirely certain I'm better off than I was either.  I've managed to stay the same.  However, maybe I'm a pessimist, but I think every failure is the exact opposite of what I wish to have happen. 

It does seem that each year, I set goals on the very first day and I start a countdown to failure.  No matter where my good intentions are for myself and for those around me, the world still happens....

"I want to lose weight"- Family members feed me a lot, co-workers bring cakes, friends get together in bars and eating establishments (instead of back alleys), my kid forces me to eat ice cream....

"I want to save money"- taxes go up, benefits become more expensive, cars break, medical issues occur...

"I want to forget my past"-  Pictures, Social Networking, Family, Photos, My "past" sending me an e-mail telling me how pissed off it is that I didn't handle something the way it chose to handle that something without discussing it with me first so I went off in a different and apparently wrong direction...

The cards are stacked against me. 

In fact all of us. 

It seems that failure is always prevalent in any attempt at anything.  But that doesn't mean "GIVE UP BECAUSE EVERY EFFORT TO SUCCEED LEADS TO A CHANCE TO FAIL!"  For me it just means accept the chance that you will fail whether it is an option or not.  Failure isn't always overly significant as if to say that, "sure, there's a chance you are going to fail in putting that fork full of meatloaf in your mouth and hit your eye instead," but that's pretty slim chance of failure there and always a good reason to not get goofy drunk before eating meatloaf.

But yeah, "I'm going to lose weight over the next 365 days" is a great opportunity to fail.  You really have to change your life.  And even by not gaining weight and staying the same as I did, I still absolutely failed at losing weight.  However I actually did lose weight a few times throughout the year.  Of course, the problem is I celebrated with friends and family and beer and pizza and cake and sausage and little tiny cookies with very little calories that fool you into thinking that since they have so few calories you can eat a ton of them....

It's like quitting smoking.  I know many people who set that as their goal every year:

"This Year I WILL Quit SMOKING!!!"

Well, they do it.  I know what I am about to say is controversial, but, SMOKING IS ONE OF THE EASIEST THINGS TO QUIT DOING!!!!  There, I said it.  It is.  I've never been a smoker, but everyone I know quits smoking each and every day.  Seriously, it's so "easy" to quit that most people do it 6 or 7 times a day.

The catch is the whole "NOT HAVING ANOTHER CIGARETTE!!!"  That's the tough part.  And that's the part that sucks.  Of course, sure this may sound cryptic, but by setting the goal/ resolution of "QUITTING SMOKING" you will succeed over and over and over again.  However it's the set back of picking up another cigarette that no smoker I know can forgive themselves for.  So, they keep smoking.

Well this blog isn't about quitting smoking, as I do not smoke (and I am lucky to be ignorant of that particular addiction), but more about forgiving myself for not having complete success about achieving a goal or at the very least getting close to them.

So this year's resolution for me are going to be more limits than goals.  I'll see how it goes.

1. In 2013 I will refrain from gaining more weight and strive to keep off whatever I lose
2. In 2013 I will NOT spend more money and try to save any amount that I can
3. In 2013 I will work on accepting as well as reflecting on my past in an effort to avoid making the same mistakes; also I will give myself more time before responding to confusingly angry e-mails and texts from my "past."

I'll see how this works out and perhaps next year I'll make resolutions using the whole "Murphy Factor" and say things like "I plan to gain more weight and make less money" in hopes of the opposite actually occurring.

Oh yeah and:

     4.  In 2013 I will buy only winning lottery tickets! Failure is NOT an option?