I forgot where I was going with this one.

"Well I'm riding in the car
and we're going someplace far
My dad's so funny
The sun's hot on my kneeeeee...
SHE RAN CALLING WILD FIRE
SHE RAN CALLING WI-I-I-ILD FIRE
SHE RAN CALLING WI-I-I-I-I-I-I-ILD FIRE..."

It was sometime in the 70's driving in either a big green station wagon or a big blue station wagon.  I remember looking up at my dad from the front passenger seat (with no seat belt on). His hair was so black and he had long side burns, almost mutton chops.  I just remember looking up to him and admiring him so.

I have absolutely no clue why I remember that moment.  I can even remember the shirt he was wearing and the fact that I was too small to either see out of the side window or even over the dashboard.  I of course, do not remember the words to Wildfire correctly, but I think maybe the wrong lyrics I did remember have helped me remember the moment. 

On a side note, I always thought that was such a happy song until a family member wrote the words out in an attempt to learn the song.  I think we all cried for at least a day once we figured out what the song was about.  Why the HELL would anyone write a song about a horse dying and why the HELL would it get any airplay?

On another side note, I do believe that kids should be in the backseat and everyone should have seat belts on in the car, but back then, this was not common place.  Yet, many of us still managed to live!

I wish I could come up with one more "side note" and get the hat trick!  I am not even quite certain if three side notes constitutes a hat trick in writing anyway.  Alas it is not meant to be.  Unless, of course,  you consider this particular paragraph another side note in which case HAT TRICK BABY!!!

I guess I am simply intrigued by the whole process of thought and recall.  What causes certain moments of my life to stick out more clearly than others when the others played a larger role? 

It is well known that other stimulus aid in memory, such as sight, sounds, smells, taste... but I tend to think of it emotionally.  I would guess you could write books about the subject but who has that kind of time?  Probably brain scientists or the thought police? 

I remember clearly being in Washington D.C. for the U.S. Bicentennial in July of 1976.   It was very warm and sunny.  I was very small and pretty much got dragged everywhere.  It turns out that downtown Washington D.C is the last place on Earth you should be for the U.S. Bicentennial.  It seemed like EVERYONE was there.  I had to hold my parents hands at all times.  So, I remember that whole trip with my right arm straight up in the air holding a hand and all I could see were the asses of all the people in front of me and the sandy ground of the mall.

However, a year later, I was in a pretty bad bicycle accident and ended up severing a body part.  I got a lot of stitches and had to wear a pretty serious leg cast for quite some time.  I have NO MEMORY of the accident or much thereafter regarding that injury.  I only recall it as well as I do because my family is quite open to talk about how much of an injury freak I was as a child. 

In fact, the only real memory I have around that time was the night Elvis Presley died.  I was in my living room alone with one of my Grandmothers.  I still had a portion of my cast on and I was up and walking around in only tighty whiteys  when Walter Cronkite got on tv to make the announcement.

In case you're worried, the body part was reattached and I'm fine.

I guess that would be the emotional side of my memory.  My mind will recall the trauma of a trip to D.C. in 1976, which was actually a fun time and I learned a lot.  However, it will block out the pain and suffering of a serious injury.

I don't always remember word for word what people say to me, but I tend to remember how their words made me feel.  For example, if I met you at a party and shortly after you threw your drink in my face and told me how horrible I am, you hate me and wish I was dead and that I would never be worthy of someone like you, the next time I see you my memory will stop me from talking to you again by reminding me that A.)  you make me feel bad and B.) you like to go home alone.

It's a beautiful thing that my mind seems to filter out the pain and just maintain the concept of the event. 

My memories of High School are very sketchy.  I hated High School.  There, I said it.  I can't explain to you why I hated it because I honestly don't remember.  I just know thinking about it makes me feel bad. 

I think John Hughes is to blame.  He made it look so fun.  He captured a lot of the experience of High School in the 80's, but the part where the main characters come out on top in the end... yeah, I didn't have that experience. 

Of course, I remember some of the people from high school but I have forgotten a lot of them.  It wasn't their fault I forgot them.  I think they were just around me during unhappy memories and ergo my mind filtered them out.  Thanks to social media I've been re-acquainted with many of those folks and am very grateful, but I'm honestly amazed by the people who remember me. 

College was sort of a blur.  I remember parties and playing music in bars and singing a lot.  Sometimes I think I went to class.   It was fun.  The hardest part about college, or any aspect of life on your own once you move away from your folks, is learning how to be responsible.  I knew almost immediately when I moved into my dorm that waking up on time each morning was going to be very difficult without having Dad threatening to pour water over my head if I didn't get up. 

But as much of a blur as it was, I remember so many happy experiences.  I made life long friends there.  I have know idea who I may have forgotten.  There was a lot of music and happiness for me at the time. It was almost a memory stimulus overload.  I'm sure beer helped keep all the memory and stimulus in check.  See, beer was a medical necessity at the time.

After college the memories slowed down.  Life slowed down.  But the memory filter stayed in place.  For example, a marriage happened to me.  For the most part, unless I try really hard, I have no bad memories of that whole experience, but it was apparently quite bad.  I only know this because, I am no longer married and I'm pretty sure I'm much better off for it, but I'm not always so sure as to why?   I mean, I know absolutely why, but I only remember the happier times.  Sometimes that's a curse, but it is kind of nice moving on and making new happy times with someone else...

Of course, from the marriage, there is a child.  Once you become a parent, you are full on back to MEMORY STIMULUS OVERLOAD!!!!  Not only do you have to remember your kids name each and every day, but you have remember what they like, don't like, did the day before and are doing in the next few days, and then there's all the damned birthday parties....  Of course, all the while you're parenting, you're constantly thinking "Was I this nuts at that age?  Did I do all of those insane things?  No, I ABSOLUTELY did NOT!!!" 

You totally did.  You've just filtered it out.

It wasn't until the first or maybe 700th time my child cried at bedtime that I remembered crying myself to sleep many nights.  However, as I recall, that was because my evil family would sit in the living room, which happened to be right next to my bedroom, and they would watch Three's Company right when I went to bed and they would laugh so hard!  I knew they were doing it just to let me know what I was missing!!! 

Yup, the filter got a hold of that one for me, but the kid dragged it back out. 

I guess, I am lucky (and maybe you are too but I don't know how you think) that I seem to have some sort of happy or anti-negativity filter in my brain.  I've heard mother's say something like "you forget the pain of childbirth" which convinces them that it's okay to have another child.  I liken that to my own mantra of "you forget the lines at the roller coaster" because, damn, those lines are long but the roller coaster is AWESOME!!! 

Maybe that's a common experience for all of us and our own memory filters.

The thing that worries me most about memory is that, as I recall, I have heard that smell is the strongest sense tied to memory.  With that, what if all of those people that remember me so well only remember me because I smelled bad?

What if that is the only reason dogs like me so much?