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Thursday, July 26, 2012

My first parenting mistake!

The night before my daughters first birthday, her mother and I took her out for dinner at the restaurant we ate at the night before she was born.  It was a nice memory. 

By this time my little girl could already walk, although it was much more like stumbling in style in the correct direction.  The restaurant was not very crowded that night, so she had free reign.  All the wait staff were excited for her to walk up to them.  Kids at this age are a lot like puppies in that regard.  Everyone wants them to walk up excited, be pet and then go to someone else.  She was great entertainment for the place.

At the end of the night, I went to pull out my credit card to pay.  My little joy bomb decided to take my card along with the bill and kindly walk it over to the waitress rather than have her come over to us.  This seemed like a ridiculously cute idea.  Of course, along the way, she offered my credit card to anyone who would smile at her.  I knew no one would really take the card, but I was still nervous. 

She finally made it to the waitress.

"Oh you are so cute" the waitress said.  "Now you just wait here and I'll give this back when I'm done" she continued. 
"Mehhhh... WAH!"  was my child's response.  I said she could walk(ish) not talk!

The waitress turned to the register and with that they were both facing away from me.  When she finished, the waitress turned back and handed the card and receipt back to my girl and said "there you go, it's all paid for!"

In a stunned silence, my lovely and precious angel (dressed in a "onesy") stood perfectly still simply turning her head to glance back at me over her right shoulder.  The look on her face was the kind of awestruck look that goes perfectly with the realization that "wait, all I have to do is give someone this card and they will give me stuff back?!?!?"

I felt the panic well up from my wallet to my brain as if Mt. Vesuvius just screamed "SURPRISE" at Pompeii.

"MY GOD!  WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?!"   I may have said out loud, I may have said it internally.  I do not recall.  My head hurt.  At that very moment, I realized that I had just been "cuted" out of my financial security.

I'm sure I had already made other parenting mistakes, but those would have far less of an impact than this.  I had just taught a toddler how to SPEND!

You can never go back from that one.  Sure, you see references to this playing out in sitcoms, where the kid takes Dad's money and runs, but, you simply just don't understand until it happens.

Then comes the birthday cards and gift cards or holiday cards...  Your child tears into them like she's looking for a prize in the bottom of the cereal box much in the same way a pit bull tears into an auto parts thief in a junk lot.  It's THAT severe! 

"Great, it's a card... where's the money!!!!"  They're like some sort of money junkie.  Suddenly they feel power and they're ready to live on their own, as soon as you change their next diaper.  IT'S AWFUL I TELL YOU!!!!

I am trying to help with her spending habits already.  We're working on the "some goes to charity, some goes to savings and some you can spend" philosophy but she may still be too young to fully understand. 

It doesn't seem to matter to her just yet. 

"I have a quarter!  I HAVE POWER!!!"  or "I have a dime.... a nickle ... a penny .... a euro...."  It's all money to her and it all gives her great satisfaction and a sense of power to possess.  As much as I try to teach her, I have come to understand that if kids do not want to understand something, they will absolutely NOT understand it. 

"Money doesn't grow on trees you know!"
"No Duhhhhh.  It's made of plastic!"

It can be that simple.

I tell you time and time again that I fear making that one tiny teensy weensy inconspicuous parenting mistake and then BOOM!  You're raising the heartless multi-national conglomerate CEO who has no passion for real life and suffers in a materialistic love free lonely world of their own (maybe with a nice yacht for their Dad).

I pray it doesn't get to that, but we're quite possibly on our way.  Right now, one of her favorite games to play is "Let's Hide Daddy's Wallet!"  This is not a fun game because by the time I find my wallet, it's out of cash. 

I still like to carry paper money; it actually does grow on trees.  Plastic doesn't grow on anything.

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