Growing Up... BLAH!

I think the two best periods in my life were from birth to turning 5 and the years I spent in college.  But, I use "best" loosely as I think life is overall pretty good.

Of course, it's really easy to look back at these points of my life and refer to them as my "happiest" times, but I don't think I was necessarily happier than I am now.  Well, maybe from birth to five I was the happiest.  I was happy about everything except for when I was screaming about something,  I'm sure.

Babies laugh all the time.  They laugh, play, eat, poop and sleep.   Then they scream when either laughing, playing, eating or sleeping aren't happening and they scream loudest after poop has happened.  Life was so much easier back then. 

Maybe that's what it is, Easy = Happy?  And that's what it I think it was about these two periods in my life. Life was just "easy" from birth to five and kind of easy through college.  College wasn't easy in a no stress and zero difficulty way but it was more easy in a pretty much carefree kind of way. 

Once you move away from home to go to college, you are "free" for the first time.  That is the biggest thrill!  You are on your own and you can do things your way.  You have very little to tie you down and you have less to really lose.  I think this period of your life is kind of an experiment for your parents to see if they raised you correctly.   They watch from a distance to see how much you mess up.  Theoretically, if you do mess up really bad, they'll let you come back and re-coup before you try again. 

This is by no means ideal for anyone involved, but that is what family is there for, to be your safety net, unless they're not.  Mine was and I am grateful that I never had to go back to them to start over, but Lord knows there have been times I've wanted to.

When you turn 5, life takes a vicious turn.  People start expecting stuff from you.  You have to do things and you have to do them correctly.  If you don't do them correctly, you get in trouble with the authority figures around you.  This sucks and it keeps sucking throughout elementary, middle and high school.

When I moved out, there was very little "authority" in my life.  Sure, I had professors, a dorm monitor and the campus police to keep me in line, but, as long as you coasted within the guidelines that they may have referred to as rules (or laws) you were fine.  Essentially, if you didn't mess with them they wouldn't mess with you.  PERFECT!  I was a coaster and it worked for me.

However, college was difficult in that I had to be my own authority, for the first time, which is really frustrating.  This is the part that my parents were watching out for.  Is he gonna fly out of the nest or is gonna fall?  I opted to glide.  It worked.  I'm good.

So, comparatively, birth to five was much easier than college.  But both were still pretty much carefree and therefore happier.  There was always a safety net.

After college, stuff gets real.  That's fun and happy in a challenging kind of way; you know, fun and happy things like work schedules, marriage, divorce, mortgages, interest rates, escrow and debt.   Yup, a riotous good time is being had, RIGHT FREAKIN' NOW!!!

However, it is fun when you have a kid and get to relive your childhood vicariously through them.  Of course, you can never admit that as your reason for becoming a parent but it is a perk!  Seriously, you can play with legos, matchbox cars, Star Wars men, etc.... and you can play games like Go Fish, Chutes and Ladders, Trouble, etc....  You also get to build forts!!!

In fact, a difficult part for me about growing up has been that I can no longer make a fort in my front yard, unless my kid is around.  It's like, if you make a fort in your front yard just for you, people just write you off as a weirdo.  Then you have to say to them "nuh uh, you're the weirdo!"  After that there's too many questions to answer and then you get locked away.

But for me, I think that the most difficult part of growing up has been that nobody can carry me anywhere anymore.  I am jealous every time I pick my daughter up.  I wish someone could hold me like that and make me feel safe and okay.  I wish that when I fall asleep on the couch at night or am just too sleepy to wake up in the morning, that someone could simply lift me up and carry me to where I want to go.

Of course, I've been able to lift up most of the women I've dated, probably all of them, but most say "no" when you try.  I think that's nuts.  If someone can lift you and they're not so big that they are threatening, say "yes" if they want to carry you.  Once you get to be my size, anyone who can pick you up is going to be big and most likely very scary.

Kids are so lucky.

So to sum up, life was not necessarily easier or happier during the two "best" time periods in my life,  but 0-5 was great because of being carried and forts, and college was great because of the carefree-little-to-lose lifestyle. 

Oh yeah, and as much as I miss it, I NEVER want to meet and be romantically involved with the woman who can carry me to bed!