THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! .... Crabby Patty?

I hate to limit an actors potential, but I think actors should be placed in specific categories and there they should stay.  I am not saying that they should be type cast into one character, but there should be some regulation on inter-genre work.

More specifically, I think that serious, science fiction, horror, or even romantic actors and actresses should not be allowed to participate in children's programming!

Okay, first and foremost, Eddie Murphy and Ice Cube.... QUIT IT!!!!  You guys were great as dramatic, comedic, offensive actors.  Sure, your moves into children's movies have been lucrative for you, but, damn.... how am I supposed to watch Are We There Yet and NOT hum sweet little dittys by NWA and wait for you to say "YOU JUST GOT KNOCKED THE F OUT!!!"  And Eddie, you were "Mister F You Man!"  It's not that I want the foul language and violence and crudeness from you, it's just that I know it's out there and I cannot watch you be all cutesy and family like.

It would have been fine if you had started out in children's programming and then made the move to a more mature themed audience, in fact that makes sense as you would essentially have grown up with your audience, but you can NEVER go back.  It's too traumatic.

Granted, I'm not suggesting that Jeff from The Wiggles makes a horror movie called "Wake Up Jeff.... It's Time to DIE!"  but he's more than welcome to.  Granted he should never be allowed to wiggle again after having done so!

Arnold Schwarzenegger tried it with what, Twins and Kindergarten Cop and that one where he was pregnant (very sad) and he ALMOST pulled it off.  At least in Twins and K-Cop he got to be violent, but it still didn't really work.

Robert Englund, you too!  You're a great actor when you're killing people off in a horrific manner.  Your forays into cartoon voice overs have almost crossed a line, but thank you for not appearing in a Muppet movie.  Coincidentally, Johnny Depp was in A Nightmare on Elm Street, but he didn't stick with the genre and I don't recall him lasting long in the movie... granted, I've never seen it.

Of course this whole rant stems from what I just figured out LAST WEEK!!!!

Imagine yourself as a 15 year old boy, home alone, watching a movie about immortals lopping off each others heads in a quest for the "Ultimate Prize."  Imagine how cool you would have thought that to be!!!  SEAN CONNERY IS GOING TO LOP OF A DUDE'S HEAD!!!!  Now imagine your disappointment at finding out that Sean Connery lopped of no ones head at any time and the the ultimate prize was not an awesome top of the line 80's home video game system. 

Now, imagine your disappointment 25 years later when you learn that the villain, whom you so wanted to see die because of all of the good guy heads he was lopping off and you rejoiced when his head was finally lopped off because that girl finally shut up and stopped screaming, IS ALSO MISTER CRABS!!!!

I cannot wrap my brain around Victor Kruger and Mister Crabs being one in the same.  Dammit Clancy Brown!!!  You're a great actor and you had me fooled in Shoot to Kill, but you typically scare me.  YOU WERE THE KURGAN!!!!   Now I don't trust you AT ALL around Squidward what with his long lanky neck.  The cut would be quick and clean!!!  DO IIIIIIIITTTTT!!!!  I'll be honest with you though, I don't think there's any hope for you in lopping off Sponge Bob and Patrick's heads.  I'm pretty sure they'd just grow right back.

But you better stay away from Sandy!!!  I'm saving her for my puppy dog to "play with."