I don't gotta prove nuthin'! Where's my pillow?

I woke up at 4:30 this morning.  That is relatively early for me.  5:30 is no problem for me most days.  4:30 is a problem. 

I met some friends out for dinner last night.  It wasn't a late night.  I was home by 8:30 and in bed by 9:30 because, I'm obviously no longer a wild man.

I'm okay with this.

I was a wild man in my youth.  I was in a band and would stay out playing until 2 AM sometimes.  On occasion, we'd head back to one of the band members apartments (typically mine) and hang out to relax after the gig.  Some mornings after the gig I'd have to get up by 6:30 am to go into work before heading to my classes for the day.  On Sunday mornings after a gig I'd have to be up to go sing in a Church choir; not one of my best decisions.

Staying out late was actually kind of a job for me.  It was a fun and awesome job, but, it was a job with a really good income.  I hated losing that "job." 

I've had some rough jobs over the years.  I've shingled roofs, bagged groceries, cleaned carpets, and worked as a Tiler's assistant.  I've delivered sausages and cheeses to retail outlets, printed unemployment checks and even slopped barbecue.  Then I finally got into my television career during which I spent 9 years having to be at work by 4:30 am.

Being a morning person, this was tolerable for me but still horribly early.  I'd set my alarm for 3:57 because it felt like a gun shot to the head when it went off; so the time was symbolic.  I was home and back in bed for a nap by 2 PM and in bed for the night by 9 PM.  This worked for me.

Getting up so early for so many years did create a habit in me to wake up early but I was already a morning person.  Back in the "gig" days  I really woke up refreshed even if I'd only had 3 hours of sleep.  Now, I am not certain what refreshed feels like.  If I wake up too early, like say 4:30, I'm tired all day, but if I get more than 8 hours of sleep, I'm tired all day.  And if I go to bed at 8:30 at night and wake up at 4:30, I'm still tired all day.  I try to stay up to 10 and maybe even sometimes I get all freaky and stay up past 11. 

WHOOO HOOO!!!! WILD MAN!!!

So what?  Seriously, what do I have to prove by staying up late?   Nothing.  I have no idea why I'd ever want to stay up late unless it's New Years Eve.  I can DVR anything of importance!

Yet another great thing about being a parent, in a long list of great things about being a parent, is that I now have an excuse to go to bed early.  I was recently at a goodbye party for some friends moving away, when one of the parents looked at me and said at 7:30 "Well, it looks like it's time to go home and put the kids to sleep.  Then I can go to bed early too!  Thank God I can use my kids as my excuse!"

AMEN!!!  I almost accused him of plagiarism but it turns out that until now, I have not openly admitted the benefits of using my child as an excuse to go to bed.  But surely, neither of us are the first to think of this.

I have non-parent friends who still really like to stay out late and they give me a hard time about it.  "Wuss" they'll call me.  "Ya Big Girl" is another term of endearment they'll throw my way.  All to do what?  Make me want to stay out later with someone who thinks I am a wuss or a big girl?  Really?  Call me what you want, but this I know; I have four pillows waiting for me at home and at least one of them desperately needs to be held!!!  That is fine with me.  I want sleep.  I stayed out late A LOT 20 years ago and I had A LOT of fun.  Now I have fun dreaming about it.  I can have fun before 11 PM.  Mehhhhhhhhh!!!!

It just seems so hard to let go of the youthful excitement of staying up late.  I notice that no matter how late my daughter stays up, she always wants to stay up as late as me.  I can remember crying myself to sleep at night because my Mother and siblings got to stay up later than me.  It was awful (Dad was already in bed; he was so wise).  But, as a kid, you are hell bent on staying up late so you can feel like a grown up!  Is that why kids refuse to go to bed or even take naps?  I would KILL for a daily nap!

One birthday, maybe 13, I was actually allowed to stay up past 9:30.... ON A SCHOOL NIGHT!!!!  So as we get older and live on our own for the first time, staying up, and even out, late seems to be the second most important thing we start doing habitually.  Of course, we all know that the first thing we do is run around the house naked with scissors.

Then it happens, the first time you head home at Sunrise you think "I AM AWESOME!!!" And the second  or third time you find yourself thinking, "COOL!"  After a while you start thinking "This sucks, I have to get up and go to work an hour ago."  The excitement just gets sucked out of it after a while.  I don't miss that.

One morning on my way to my 4:30 am job I was riding my bike in to work and passed through a local area where there is a lot of college bars.  One bar in particular was just closing but still had about 20 or 30 patrons milling about out front finishing their "breakfast beverages."  The only light was a street light in the parking lot and the stop light I was riding up to meet at some train tracks.  The crowd saw me and, as if some sort of mob zombie mentality overcame all of them in unison, they stopped talking, looked at me, started talking a garbled mess and then started chasing me and throwing beer bottles at me.  Why?  Because I had slept and was now doing something healthy at 4 am?  I'm sorry but please don't kill me.  I know it's ridiculous to exercise so early in the am, but seriously, go sleep this off and you'll forgive me.

So what did I do this morning at 4:30 AM?  I exercised using things called weights to help tone up the bendy muscles on the front and backs of my upper arms and also for the muscles in my chestle regions.  I also allowed two dogs to take me for one lap around the park before I came back home and walked in place for 30 more minutes on my elliptical machine.

At 4:30 AM it is quite difficult to remember the names of muscle groups especially when you pay attention to them as infrequently as I do.

I'll be amazed if I'm awake past 2 PM today.