Having just typed this, I honestly don't know why I'm telling you.

I have more shoes than I probably should.  I do not know why.

I have:

1. Brown shoes for work (Rockport); a few months old
2. Black shoes for work (Aldo); got 'em in '03 in Manhattan
3. Adidas Exercise Sneakers; a few months old
4. Black Adidas Sambas (indoor soccer shoes) that I got in college because they were cool!  So, I've had them for over 20 years.
5. Black Adidas Cleats for when I played inter murals in college; again over 20 years
6. Blue Chuck T High Tops that I've had for closer to 30 years, BECAUSE THEY'RE COOL!
7. Sandals for the beach; a few years old
8. Flip Flops for Being on a Boat!; a few years old
9. Converse Canvas low tops for summer sneakers; a few years old
10. Beige Sketchers which are good for wearing with shorts to work; got 'em in '07
11. Brown Dress Shoes for Suits; got 'em in '95
12. Black Dress Shoes for suits; a few years old
13. Cole Haan Slip ons for something, I don't know; gifted to me sometime around '03
14. Brown Leather boots for looking cool; got 'em in '03
15. Black Cobras Skin Cowboy boots; gifted sometime before '00
16. Black Lizard Skin cowboy boots; gifted sometime before '00
17. Merril slip ons from ten years ago; used to be work shoes now I use them for when I mow the lawn
18. Beat up old pair of Rockports; a few years old, old work shoes, can't let go
19. Black Leather Ankle boots; don't know why, don't know when; remind me of boots my Dad had!
20. Cycling Shoes with pedal clips; for tap dancing!!!
21. one pair of payless sneakers that I've only kept because the last time I wore them I was on the sidelines televising a football game and the turf was so hot that the soles melted off of the shoes and then melted back on at a different angle; they're conversation starters even though I cannot wear them.  So really, they're a conversation starter if you happen to be at my house and see them.  Ir right now.  As I blog about them.

Anyway, I'm sure I've still missed a pair or two.  It's ridiculous, I know. Mostly I'm amazed you just read all of that!

The thing is, I only wear either the exercise sneakers or the brown work shoes year round.  The rest I rarely ever touch.  Of course, during the summer I constantly wear the canvas low tops because they make me feel cool!  However, they don't add much shape to my feet, so when I where them on my tiny little feet, I look funny from head to toe.  Really, I'm not a huge guy, but feet my size have no business supporting someone like me.  So those shoes are the only really "mood enhancing shoe" other than my cowboy boots which add just a hint of MACHO to me when I want to intimidate any strangers who come to my door to talk to me about their religion or sell me something.  Yup, wearing just the boots and a Cowboy Hat seems to generate so much machismo that people run away... screaming... hmmmmm...

I also have a lot of hats.  Now, to be honest, I know why and I know how it spiraled out of control.  I won't name all of my hats, but it is safe to say that I did it to myself.  See, I wanted a Cubs hat, but I have an odd large shaped head (yes with little feet) that is difficult to find hats for.  So I bought a Cubs hat that fit the first few times I wore it then got too tight.  So I bought a few more and then someone else opted to help. 

Also, working in television; especially in televising sports, there are a lot of people out for "schwag" and typically you get a hat, if you're lucky.  You may never wear that hat again, but you're thrilled to get it.  I seriously have a hat with an image of a satellite truck on it.  I don't know who gave it to me or why.  BUT I GOT IT!!!

After a while, I realized that I had way too many hats and I completely stopped trying to acquire anymore.  It was at this time in my life that a relative decided that I really liked hats and that I must continue to get them.  So, every year, on Father's Day, my Birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, I get a few hats.  I am grateful for the thought, but I'll NEVER be able to wear all of the hats I own.

I'm sure I have easily over 50 caps, and let's not forget my black door-answerin' Cowboy Hat!

It's nuts. 

So, as it turns out, I collect things, I guess?  Why do I have all the shoes?  Why the hats, and then there's the swords.

I don't have a lot of swords but I guess I do have a few more swords than most people.  I don't play with them or use them (much to my chagrin). I just display them in my house.  I will start sharpening them when my daughter starts dating.  I plan to sit on my front porch bench wearing a white gravy stained tank top and jeans, with some type of weed in my mouth,  while I sharpen/ polish  a sword when some boy comes over to pick up my daughter. 

I imagine saying something like "evnin' son. Be good to my daughter t'night.  I'd hate to have to polish this sword again."  I'm sure I'll have to pay someone to play banjo music off in the distance.

As it turns out, I also have a collection of watches.  Other than my 1980's Swatch watch, nothing is really a collectors piece.  Over the years I have just acquired 10 or so watches.  I didn't know I was a "watch collector" until one Christmas when someone bought me a jewelry box.  I felt odd getting a jewelry box and asked "why are you giving me this?"  The response was simple "so you have a place to put all of your watches"  presented in a "duhhhhh" like manner.

"I don't have a lot of watc..... ohhhhhhhhhh..." and there you go.

I'm not materialistic and I don't know why I have all of this stuff.  I'm not a horder by any means. 

But if I was, I'd still be able to walk around my house safely because of all the shoes I have!