I don't think I believe in re-incarnation, but sometimes it's fun to think about. Should the opportunity present itself to me, I'll try my best let you know if that happens; hopefully no time soon.
If it does happen, I think I'd like to be a dog. Of course, I want to be a dog that grows up in happy carefree loving, dog friendly, my house is your house type of dog home like my current house. Seriously, I think my dog won the puppy lottery sometimes. I'm THAT loving!!!
Anyway, It is quite possible that, in a past life I was, or in my next life I will be, or in my current life, I am a dog.
I don't mean "Dog" as in the whole "Girlfriend, that BOY is a DEEE-OHHH-GEEE DAWG!!!" type of way, but more in the actual "furry creature that just wants love, affection, food and attention," type of way.
First off, I would LOVE to be able to just sleep anywhere at anytime and have it be perfectly fine and healthy for me to do so. This is actually some portion of my definition of Heaven. Granted, it is also a portion of the definition of "homelessness" too, so I must clarify.
I would LOVE to be able to just sleep anywhere I wish in my house at anytime, and quite often, I do. When this happens, I call it "the weekend" or a "sick day (nudge nudge wink wink)."
My dog will play play play and play and then drop wherever she is and sleep. It may be in the front yard, the bathroom, the bedroom, on my bed, on my daughters bed, on my futon, on the kitchen floor, on my dining room floor, on my couch... I get her off the couch when I catch her, but she is cunning and moves before I bust her. She does leave a remarkably warm dog shaped dent in the couch that I try to use as evidence, but she does not understand the evidence against her and plays stupid in a very cute and acceptable way!
I wish I could play play play play and when I am told to stop, or I get in trouble for doing so (because I should be working, or keeping my eyes on the road...) I wish I could just play stupid in a cute and acceptable way. I've tried this. Nobody seems to think it's very cute and I get tired too easily but that leads me back to wanting to sleep anywhere. Of course after sleeping too much I have to get up to go to the bathroom.
I wish I could go to the bathroom anywhere I wanted too!!! I kind of "can" go to the bathroom wherever I want, but it is very much socially unacceptable. My dog can go wherever she wants and as long as I am willing to clean up the cleanupable stuff, no one complains. But if I pee on one neighbors car tire, suddenly I'm "not welcome over here anymore!!!'' Jerks!
I would love to be groomed and pet ALL THE TIME!!! Seriously, I wait a long time between haircuts so my hair gets thick and long. That way, when I go to the "groomer" they have to take longer. They get a little unnerved when my leg keeps twitching but if they take long enough, it'll be reflected in their tip!
My dog wants to be pet all the time! Well, so do I dammit! My dog can just walk up to anyone, rub up against them and BOOM, they'll start petting her. Well, when I tried that.... you know what, I'm actually not supposed to talk about that...
Moving on...
There are just so many aspects to a dog's life that are just wonderful. I could totally handle eating the same thing every day, as long as it was pizza or steak for breakfast and dinner. And I wouldn't get in trouble for cleaning the bone on a t-bone or a pork chop. I get stared at a lot in restaurants when I'm eating a t-bone or a pork chop. I'm not proud....
Now I haven't just come up with this belief myself. No, I think this was generated within myself by the many comparisons and other treatments I have received from women in my life. Honestly, I've never been called a dog by any woman I've known (to my face at least) but when I've done good, or seem distracted, or seem sad, many of them pretty much give me a treat and pet me. I'm totally fine with this!!!!
I really think women mostly see me and many of my people as big talking animals whom they wish to fatten up for the kill!!! Again, totally fine with this!!!
Yup, a stress free dog's life sounds perfect to me. I just don't know how I feel about the whole "being neutered" thing....
I need to rethink this.
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