WHOO HOO!!!! I WON THE LOTTERY!

Well, actually, that's not entirely true.  In fact, there is practically no measure of truth in the title of this one.

Nope.  It didn't happen.

In fact, the truth is more like "whoo hoo.... I didn't LOSE the lottery!" 

Now THAT is absolutely 100% Grade A Prime TRUTH BABY, becasue, I didn't play.

I want to play the lottery.  I really do.  And, I want to win.  Yes, I'd like that very much please.  But, I don't want to be rich.

"Come Again?"  You might say.
"Not now, I'm typing."  Is all I've got for you.

I want to be stable.  If I had a big lottery winnin' my family would be cared for, a chunk of the money would go to the Church (just in case they're right), My daughter would NEVER have to worry about finances again as long as she doesn't become some sort of money obsessed spender, some would go to charities (I hear The Human Fund is a good one) and then I'd want to be financially stable. 

I just don't want to worry about making ends meet or paying bills.  I want to work.  Maybe I'd go work for a charitable organization in town.  Who knows.

But, I don't need extravagance or big things.   I think the extremely wealthy simply lose touch with reality in having too much.  I believe that the more I have, the more I have to lose.  Maybe I'm simple?  I don't want too much, is just don't want to have to worry about losing what I do have.

So, like many people I know, I fall asleep at night dreaming about winning the lottery.  And that's what I plan.  All that stuff I just said about how I'd spend it.  That's my dream.  It's not much but that's what I'm all about.

Of course, I rarely ever play the lottery. 

"Why" you ask?
"Be patient!" I say.  Seriously, do you ever find that if you just wait one more second before asking a question when someone is talking or whenever you're watching a movie, that the answer to your question is happening as you speak?  Sheesh... what is it with you?

I rarely play the lottery because every time that I do not win, which has literally been every time I've EVER played, I get sad and upset.  I know, it's pathetic.

I really don't know how people survive having bought a lottery ticket at the same gas station where the lottery winner bought their ticket!  That would drive me nuts!!! 

A few years back some guy in my current city won and I was miserable.  "HOW COULD THAT NOT BE ME!!!!  I LIVE LIKE ONLY TEN MILES FROM THAT GAS STATION, IN FACT, I'M NOT EVEN SURE WHERE THAT IS AND I'VE NEVER BEEN THERE, BUT... THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MEEEEEE!!!" 

That's pretty much exactly how I felt.  Imagine how I'd feel if I actually had bought a ticket from that gas station that particular time.  Yes, I would have been lost.  So, on top of all of my feelings of frustration and misery I would also need to pile on the feeling of being lost.

So, I hardly ever play the lottery.  But that way, I do not have to deal with the pain of losing.

No, I'm not like this about relationships, or sports, or job interviews, or games or... or in pretty much anything where I have to take any sort of risk of failing in order to  participate.

But, the lottery...

                        SO HIGH
Your hopes get                  when you play even though your chances of winning are
                                                                                                                           SO LOW!

Didja see what I did there?  Did it confuse you?  I'm sorry about that.  I've been reading a lot of books with my daughter lately that do that sort of play on words, so I thought I'd try.... SCREW WHAT YOU THINK!!!  IT WAS FUN!!!

Anyway, back on point...

If I don't play the lottery, I don't lose.  If I don't lose, I don't get mad.  If I'm not mad, I have happy dreams and in my happy dreams I WIN THE FREAKIN' LOTTERY!!!!