Ahhhhh Holiday Decorations.... GRRRRRRR

I decorated my house for Christmas yesterday.  I must admit, it's not as much of a thrill as it used to be.

When I was married decorating for the holiday was a "family affair (no pun intended)" and we would all contribute! 

HAH!  Who am I kidding?  I wasn't allowed to touch a thing and decorate the inside of the house for the holidays.  I was there to get stuff out of the attic, move furniture and put stuff back in the attic.  I think that is the role for many men (or non-decorating spouses).  Oh yeah, we're allowed to do lights outside, as long as they are properly approved. 

However, I could never get approval for the landing strip and lights that spelled out "SANTA LAND HERE" on the roof.  Now that I'm single, I just don't feel the excitement about trying that anymore...

I must admit, decorating is not my forte'!  Sure, I have stuff hanging around my house like my daughter's artwork, pictures of my daughter and swords, but, who doesn't have those things (their own daughters, not mine) hanging around.  I also have a lot candles.  I may also have a collection of hats and remote controls. 

Ahhhhh, the modern era where we must have a remote for every electronic device in the house.  The theory is that we don't have to get up and move to do anything, but the remotes keep being moved and so I must get up and find the remotes.  That there's irony!

Anyway, so yeah... I almost died getting five large bins of stuff out of my attic.  Although, I'm pretty sure I looked all cool, like Atlas, bringing those things down.  Had I died in the process, my dog, as she was the only one present, would have thought something like "he sure looked cool!"  Followed shortly thereafter with "how do I get to my treats now?"

I couldn't find anything holiday related to watch whilst decorating the tree so I simply took a shot in the dark and flipped to a random channel.  Luckily I caught a movie that was just starting and would take two or so hours which should get me through the process. 

So there I was rolling the piano out of my living room into the dining room to make room for the tree whilst watching Boogie Nights; a holiday classic!  It's right up there with "It's a Wonderful Life" in the holiday happy film genre if you ask me.  Please don't ask me!  Actually, the movie was on for maybe thirty minutes before it dawned on me what I was actually watching.  I do feel a little awkward about this.  But hey, it was just me and the dog didn't care!

In fact, I think my dog was more in awe that I single handily built a TREE!!!  That must be extremely amazing to a dog when it's Master looks like Atlas (in his later years) and then makes NATURE in the house!  I know she sees me in a new light and is more and more intimidated by me!  She watched me as I fluffed and inserted every branch of my oh-so-not-real tree!  But she didn't care.  It had that new tree smell that only a dog can truly enjoy.  I thought it smelled like year old attic myself.

After creating nature and coating it with multi-colored LED lights, I then unloaded two more containers of just stuff to put around the house.  I wish my child had been with me, but she was not.  I did save the tree for her to decorate with me, but I took care of the house.

Around the house, she has certain things that must go in certain places, so I followed her guidelines as beast as I can remember.  I have a few snow globes.  The all go around the entertainment center.  Her thinking is that they are pretty and should be near the TV where we are looking a lot of the time.  My thinking is that they are full of water and should they break... NEW 3D TV FOR CHRISTMAS BABY!!!

Then I have a few Nutcrackers.  They are soldiers and they are there to protect the Baby Jesus.  So, yes, all Nutcrackers go around the Nativity.  It's as if the manger is surrounded by giant nut crushing Transformers! Yeah, it's pretty cool.

Then there's all the little things that as cute as they are, and have so many memories attached to them, ARE A COMPLETE PAIN IN THE ASS TO FIND PLACES FOR ALL OVER THE HOUSE!!!  They go in the book shelves, hall shelf, bathroom cabinets, kitchen window, on top of the fridge, on top of the hutch..... they go all over.  I was exhausted when I finished. 

The dog just sat like a Sphinx staring at the tree... worshiping it.

Now that that is all done, I can relax inside my house.  I'll get to the lights this weekend (sorry neighbors)... they do get kind of bright.

But tonight, I will come home to well decorated house with the tree all aglow (it's on a timer).

I hope the dog doesn't pee on the tree today while I'm gone.....