No no no... that guy is Optimus!

I remember a scene in the movie "Splash" where Tom Hanks finds Daryl Hannah crying while watching some sort of western.  She was upset because a character died.  But Tom Hanks explains to her something like "no no no, don't worry, he's just an actor and he's fine.  He'll be in other movies later on."  Then Daryl Hannah starts laughing every time some guy gets knocked off in a show.

Well that really happens for kids.  They don't really get it at first that someone in a show can be somebody different in another show. 

"Daddy, why is Gibby in this show?" 
"What's a Gibby?"
"From iCarly?"
"You shouldn't watch that show.  You're too young."

And I have thoroughly avoided teaching my child that Gibby is an actor named Noah Munck, who actually seems to be successfully beating childhood obesity.

So my kid, and kids in general, have a hard time understanding that characters are actors, who, if they're any good at their craft, end up playing many different characters in many different productions.  Kids also think "craft" means macaroni and cheese.

Last night, I threw a monkey wrench into any progress my child may have been making in understanding the actor/ character relationship.  See, sometimes, especially over a lifetime, actors can become typecast.

Henry Winkler is the Fonz.
Mark Hammil is Luke Skywalker
and
OPTIMUS PRIME IS PETER CULLEN!!!

"Who is Peter Cullen" you may ask?  Well, according to some people, he is the voice actor who in my childhood and now in modern day movie makin' does the voice of Optimus Prime.  I firmly believe that he is simply Optimus Prime's holographic alter ego and he doesn't even have to be in holograph form much these days.  Optimus can just do his Peter Cullen impression over the phone at any time.

"Who is Optimus Prime" you might also ask?
"GET OFF MY PLANET!!!!" is all  I have to say to you for asking that.

So, last night I was watching Piglet's BIG Movie, which is another chapter in the series of Winne the Pooh films. 

Yes, my daughter was with me. 
Yes, it was her idea to watch it. 
Yes, I enjoyed it. 
Shut up.

Anyway, Eeyore is Optimus Prime!  I kid you not!  He walked into a scene and opened his mouth and BOOM out pops Optimus Prime's voice!  Suddenly this movie became a lot more interesting to me.

I looked at my child and said:

"Whoa honey, do you know who that is?"
"No Daddy, who?"  she was so excited.
"That's Optimus Prime Baby!!!"  I was so excited.
"What? No... no Daddy, that's Eeyore?"  She stared at me kind of funny.
"Well no, I know that the character is Eeyore but the actor playing Eeyore... that's Optimus Prime!"
"Daddy, it's a cartoon.  There are no actors."  like she's so smart!
"No, I know that, but, the voice is Optimus Prime's"  I confidently told her and I followed up with, "It's like when I do voices for commercials" which I do "it's my voice, just a different product."
"But Daddy, you're nobody in the commercial just the voice selling something."

I died a little inside.

I wanted to tell her that "Optimus Prime is selling something, and it's not something you can buy with money.  It's peace and justice and safety for all humanity, and even bears seeking honey and neurotic pigs!"

But, instead, I gave up.  I held her in my arms and quietly watched the rest of the movie with her; knowing all the while that she is just a child and she simply doesn't understand, yet.

I was pretty pissed that Eeyore didn't transform into anything.  I was really hopeful when his tail came off, much like Optimus's trailer....