About twenty years ago I graduated from college with a degree in Broadcast Journalism. It took my five years to get that degree, but that was not a bad thing, I really was on a five year plan.
See, 25 years ago, I went to college to study Music Education. I had a vocal scholarship (very small) which means that in some aspects, I was a singer. I had a five year scholarship.
I'm not typing this entry to discuss what led to my change in my degree. It might be a good story, but that is not my point. I'll get to my point eventually. Surely you know this about me by now? It takes time, but eventually, I get there.
Now, as a Music Education major, the basic expectation is that eventually you will become a teacher. I wanted to become a teacher and to this date, I wish I had pursued that option. But, Music had been a joy and became less fun for me as it became a job... Still not my point.
As a future educator it was expected that we become familiar with all the instrument groups. Much like there are food groups such as meats, vegetables, grains, candy, beer, pizza, etc.... There are four groups for instrument.
You have percussion instruments, such as drums, triangle's, cymbals, gongs, etc... Essentially, anything you can bang (giggity). And you have stringed instruments such as the violin, cello, bass, viola. There is another group called woodwinds which includes the bassoon, the oboe, the clarinet, etc... and brass instruments which include the trumpet, trombone, tuba, etc.... Of course the last two groups are considered "Wind" instruments which constitutes anything you can blow (giggity giggity).
There are always confusing instruments like the Saxophone which is shiny like a brass instrument but is considered a wood wind. This is because the sax has a "reed" in the mouthpiece which is another part of being a woodwind. Of course, the flute is a woodwind although it has no reed. It's like that whole "I before E... unless not" crap in the English language.
Now in becoming a Teacher of Music, we had to learn at least one instrument from each group, as I recall. I chose the Saxophone as my woodwind. I had a pretty good embouchure for that one and could make some sounds that didn't sound like I was doing something rude with a cattle prod to some unsuspecting cattle. Embouchure is how one uses their facial muscles to shape their lips and play a wind instrument. Woodwind embouchures can be quite rude or sexy depending on how you look at it. Try to look at it professionally. Anyway, I think I played a pretty mean "Hot Cross Buns (a.k.a. Three Blind Mice)" by the time I was done.
I also familiarized myself with the French Horn. I think I gave up on that one pretty quickly. Mainly, it was because my embouchure was a look of me having just eaten all the lemons. Also, when I played, it sounded like I was doing something rude with a cattle to prod to an unsuspecting sea lion. Very sad...
I remember the excitement I felt when I discovered that I would have to take a semester in PERCUSSSION!!! DRUMS!!! YESSSS!!! I AM A ROCK GOD!!!! It turns out we spent a semester learning rudiments on a snare pad. This is a rubber pad that sits on a stand in front of you much a like a snare drum but not. It is simply a practice pad. We learned drum rolls, ratamacues, flamacues, paradiddles, flamadidles, etc.... look them up yourself. I passed.
I also took cello. I LOVED THE CELLO!!! I was not so good, but after a semester or two of studying, I could play some things and not sound like I was hurting cats and their kittens. String instruments are much more finicky than one might think. By the time I took my last exam, I remember having to do three "simple" pieces. Something by Mozart. Something by Bach. And something of my choosing. I chose Motley Crue's "Doctor Feelgood." It involved fingering, plucking and bowing. My professor was NOT impressed. I was.
Now, of course, my fifth instrument was my voice and then I had to learn a sixth which turned out to be piano. I am of the belief that scholars are still trying to discover what musical group the piano falls in. It has strings like a harp, but the keys trigger hammers which strike the strings like a percussion instrument. It is like fish on Fridays. Is fish not a meat? Or better yet, the piano is the tomato of instruments. Is it a fruit? Is it a vegetable? No one may ever know...
I sang in bands throughout high school and college. In the last band I was in, I was the singer and the bass player. So, in essence, the cello led me to bass, although the strings are all backwards, quite literally.
I walked away from music a long time ago, but it will always be a part of me. However, now, I am subjugated to being one of those guys you see at a traffic light, sitting in his truck, jamming away on his air drums or air guitar or air bass or air tuba, all the while singing along with the radio. Yup, that's me.
Today, I offended myself. THIS BEING MY POINT!!!
On the radio was Blues Traveler's song "Run Around." It's a good song. Very catchy. The singer is very impressive. I read somewhere once that the singer, John Popper, had gotten his Doctorate in Harmonica!!! What I read was wrong. He did not. Sorry to excite you there. He's just very good.
I am not good at the harmonica. That came to me all too clearly on my way into work this morning.
While Run Around played, I joined in. I was singing and playing my bass as I swerved through traffic. I was carrying the band quite well and I helped John hit some high notes. All the while, I didn't miss a note on the bass... as far as anyone watching would know.
Then came the awesome harmonica solo! Jethro Tull be shamed with your lazy flute solo's!!! John Popper is amazing! I have listened to Run Around since '95 and I am always impressed!
But today in traffic, I was at a loss. I could not suddenly let go of my wheel and play the air harmonica. That seems a little unsafe. Without even thinking about it, I suddenly noticed that I was playing the solo on my air bass. WHAT WAS I THINKING? YOU CAN'T AIR BASS A HARMONICA!!!!
I'm so ashamed.
I may try to develop the string harmonica just to save my credibility in the realm of traffic air bands. And thus, this is where my story ends... for now.
I didn't say it was going to be a good point. I don't think I've ever said that.
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