Testicles are an amazing thing (please feel free to stop reading now, but it will get better, I promise)!
Yes, yes, they contribute to the procreation of our species...
Mmmm hmmmm.... yes they respond to changes in the temperature what with their own sort of climate control settings (aka "shrinkage").
Yes, for the most part they're easily concealed...
All good points, but what I'm going for is their sensory to pain.
See, any man (and I'll be the man in these scenarios) can take a major impact to the groin, such as being kicked, and it won't phase him or his testicles. There is no pain. There is no concern.
However, someone could just toss that same man (me again) a pencil and it could just mildly bump him in the crotchal region and he (I) will be buckled over in pain, nauseated and on the verge of tears for the next hour. There is a lot of pain, a whole lot of reflection on your life and past mistakes and pretty much an acceptance of, and almost welcoming desire for, dying REALLY SOON!!!
So, I have a theory.
The brain creates a sort of protective combination of realization and pain to serve as a self serving warning system to aid us all in staying alive. So, if someone runs up and kicks you in the groin, you are well aware of it just by visual stimulus alone. You know it happened, you couldn't miss it and it's time for you to go. In most cases, your brain was prepared for the assault on the boys and knows that you are fully appraised of the situation. The brain will turn off your pain sensors because pain is really just there to let you know something is going on. Again, that foot feeling in your crotch is enough to tell you that something is going on!
However, it's the little innocent taps to the old batter barn that can bring one to their knees in a very bad way. See, whether you saw it happen or not, your brain will turn on some serious pain indicators to let you know that there is a pending altercation going on below the belt. Whether you saw it or not, your brain doesn't care, it DESPERATELY wants you to know that even though nothing traumatic has happened YET, something serious just might be about to go down!
This is what pain is all about. It is to serve as a warning to let us know that something bad, that we may or may not be aware of, is going on. So, my theory (which I have read about in articles before but am neither looking up nor quoting as sources as this is simply a blog and not a thesis) is that how we respond to pain is a trained response.
On a side note, as much as I love to work them into most conversations at casual social engagements, this blog is not about my testicles but is more about pain. They just happened to be the best example I could think of and I will try my best not to mention them again.
You're welcome.
I was born with a very rare medical condition referred to as CIP (Congenital Insensitivity to Pain). However, when I was born it was referred to as "Ma'am, I'm sorry but we don't know what the hell is wrong with your kid. We think he doesn't feel pain" syndrome. I really wasn't even sure if this was a real thing until around ten years ago when Dateline did a story about it.
I look back and think about how truly awful this must have been for my folks and for my Mom especially as Dad was at sea whenever I would experience an "episode." For the most part, my situations were mild in that I would cut myself and would be completely unaware until Mom noticed the blood.
But twice I had very serious issues:
Once I removed a big toe playing with match box cars (because I'm just that intense when it comes to playing with matchbox cars) and when Mom told me it was time for dinner I told her I was bleeding. She told me to rinse my cut off in the sink and I told her I couldn't reach the sink. She came in to help me and I think she screamed and rushed me to the ER. That's how we all found out I couldn't feel pain.
A second time (by now Mom was a seasoned pro) I managed to remove a heal by getting my foot stuck in the spinning spokes of the back tire on a bicycle whilst racing down hill. I asked for a band-aid after being carried home to my Mom. Yup... more screaming... another ER...
I got better. In fact, as time went by I grew out of it. Essentially, I am pretty lucky in that now, and probably since I was about 10 or 11, I feel pain.
Both of these events happened to me before I was 7 and as best as I can tell the greatest residual effect of these happening to me are not the small scar on the top of one heal or the one toe that seems to have a false or misplaced tendon underneath. Nope, it's that I will say "OUCH" without any thought if I feel anything that isn't obviously painful.
See, my folks had to encourage me to say "ouch" whenever I felt anything. Basically there was always the chance that I'd remove a limb playing with Lego's and the only thing that would prevent me from bleeding out would be me saying "ouch" while I tried to make a house out of all blue bricks.
I was trained to respond to any stimulus as pain.
Anyway, I caught myself saying "ouch" as I put my seat belt on this morning (much like I still say "excuse me" when I burp alone) and suddenly all of these thoughts popped into my head. So, I thought I'd go ahead and blog for the first time in four months.
Yup, four months of silence and THIS is what I give you!
I hope you are well.
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