I've often heard the phrase "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach!" and I used to think that it was meant to be something sweet. But I am starting to believe it is something very dark and suspicious!
Granted, in my youth, I often fell for the "sweet" aspect of this. I can remember way back in college when I was dating this beautiful woman but I had gotten to that point where I just wasn't into the relationship anymore and I wanted to break up. This was before cell phones and texting when you were expected to break up with someone to their face, so I'd go to her house to tell her, she just lived a few blocks from my dorm.
I'd get to her house, ready to end it and she would open her door and it would smell DELICIOUS!!! She was an incredible cook. She'd invite me in, I'd sit in defiance, she knew what I was there to do and she'd offer me "just a nibble" and yadda yadda yadda, we were back on for a few more days. I mean, c'mon, this was college. Kids can starve to death in school.
Eventually, I got wise and I stooped down so low as to try to break up with her over the phone. She had one of two evil fixes for that though: A.) either she would say "why don't you come over so we can talk" and BOOM Lasagna.... or B.) it was the early 90's, again, no cell phones. She knew where I was when I called her from my dorm a few blocks away. So, she'd just show up after the call with a pie.
It was awful. Eventually I had to do that awful thing where I just started ignoring her calls until she figured it out. She deserved better, but I had no will power to fight off her caloric magic. Ironically she was as skinny as a rail and hardly ate her own food.
Of course, there was also the high school crush who made lemon meringue for me and continued to send me lemon filled donuts when I moved away... and my Mom who always bought me groceries whenever she'd visit or save leftovers for me .... and pretty much any woman I've ever dated who could cook!
And so there you have it, it was as though every knew that food was the key to my love.
Now, let's fast forward a few decades... In fact, let's move about three decades past college right up to, this week and even this very morning!
I visited my Mom a few days ago. There is nothing quite like going home to Mom! I walk into her house and pretty much melt. I know she can take care of me. She sent me back home with a bunch of leftovers: a tray of lasagna, a tray of another casserole, some cooked pork tenderloin, a frozen tenderloin, some sausages (again cooked and uncooked) and several different desserts. She had had some family visiting and needed me to take the leftovers. I AM 100% A OK WITH THAT!!! When I got back to my house, another relative of mine had left a batch of cookies she had made for me on my front porch. YIPPEE!!!!
I love this stuff. I need this stuff. I WANT THIS STUFF!!!! I know I am loved. I have eaten like a king the past few days!
So, yesterday morning, after working out, I decided to eat healthy. The one child and I opted for whole grain Cheerios for breakfast. They were delicious! It was all I needed. I packed some leftover lasagna and sausage for my lunch (seriously a small portion) and I headed out the door to work!
Of course, I stopped off for a morning coffee with another relative. Aaaaand of course, he had made some sausage biscuits. I debated on eating one, but he served it to me "Eat it! It's good!" I ate it. T'was good. Upon finishing it, he said "get yourself another!" I won that fight and did not.
I drank my coffee and headed to the office seriously reconsidering having any lunch.
I got to the office in time for our morning meeting. "Oh Look... Donuts...." The department head spearheading the meeting had brought donuts as a part of his gift to us for showing up to the meeting. I refused, but ended up taking one at the end of the meeting. I had enough will power to only take one bite and then toss the rest. I was proud of my strength.
I sat back at my desk, rethinking my eating habits, when in walked another co-worker with steak biscuits from a fast food chain. This guy is one of the nicest people I've ever met (unless he's grumpy, which happens daily, but it's hardly ever anything personal). He is always thinking of others and is very generous about sharing food with the rest of us in the office.
DAMN HIM!!!!
I stared at the biscuit for a good 20 minutes. I tried to ignore it. I did not want to be rude....
I ate half of it and tossed the rest. I know, such strength again, right?
With all of that covered now, I have come to realize that, the gift of food is not just a romantic thing. It can also be a generous thing for people who are starving and for people who are needy. It can be a gesture of family or friendship. It is a number of things.
However, unless you're going for the whole "feed the starving" thing, which is quite noble, the food is NEVER healthy food! I would never offer a friend a cabbage "out of love."
And so, I am very grateful for all of the kind food gestures and I pray that they will continue, right up until my coronary!
That's right. I believe that we have been instinctively programmed to kill each other with kindness and with the the phrase should be altered to "The way to a man's heart (attack) is through his stomach!!!"
And oh yeah, that lasagna lunch was GREAT!!!!
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