I'M ON A TEAR... about paper products!

Okay.... I've had it!  I'm angry!!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!  Or, more like, PERSON!!!

Granted, there either has to be a lot of people just like you, or you are somewhat omnipotent with the ability to visit every bathroom I "visit," either public or in a business, pretty much anywhere in the world I've ever been!

No seriously... How is it that every bathroom, meeting the previously mentioned criteria of being either public or in a business, manages to have the toilet paper, loaded in the metal box of forward facing toilet paper, loaded backwards?

First off, I must explain that I AM talking about the tp dispensers that can hold two rolls that face forward, meaning the dowel holding the roll is parallel to the wall (much like a standard home tp dispenser but in a metal casing) and when one is depleted the other one simply falls into place.

I am NOT talking about those big circular ones where the rolls are sideways and you may have either 4 to 6 single rolls in the big circular casing or one giant roll made of sandpaper.

So, I am talking about the metal box, dowel parallel to wall, one drops when the other is spent tp dispensers.  Just so we're clear.

HOW THE HELL DO THEY KEEP GETTING LOADED BACKWARDS?!?!?!?!?  By backwards I mean that they are loaded into the metal casing (with the dowel parallel to the wall) in a manner that as you unroll the roll, it can actually slip from the top behind the dowel and into the case instead of rolling from the top out of the front of the metal case LIKE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TOO!  Does this make sense?  Rolling down from the front should be correct.

Let's face it, NONE OF US want to have to waste time digging for tp from the back of the metal box when you need it MOST!!!

How does this keep happening?  What idiot does this to all of us all the time?

Now, to make matters worse, I think this is the same idiot who feels that it is absolutely necessary to load as many of those paper towels into the bathroom paper towel dispenser.  Surely, you know what I'm talking about?

Once again, it's a metal casing (box) with a key hole at the top and a gap at the base for tiny brown (sometimes white) almost legal envelope sized folded sheets of paper towels to be pulled from.  No, I don't spend a lot of time in fancy shmancy bathrooms with blow driers for my hands (as well as for the crotchal region of my pants for when "the sink sprays me").  No, I spend my time in a working mans' bathrooms with overly packed paper towels.

So, some yokel feels that they need to cram two or more packages into the casing.  So, when I try to pull out one brown folded legal envelope sized paper towel, I get either chunks that I almost blistered my fingers trying to pull out, or I get anywhere from 5 to 16 of the damn things!!!!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THE PERSON WHO DOES THIS?  ARE YOU A CRAZY PERSON?  Or, is there some sort of Bathroom Paper Products Gnome?  Does he travel the world to torment us?  Does he do this to mock us and fill us with anger?  Or is he testing us to see if we are kind and patient people?

I DON'T WANT TO BE KIND OR PATIENT IN THE BATHROOM!!!!  I WANT OUT!!!!

That gnome is probably the same s.o.b. who make that thing that happens with regular paper towel rolls....  You know that thing?  You know, you grab the one paper towel you need and you do the quick little paper towel tug that we've all been unwittingly trained to do since childhood where you quickly snap your wrist and one sheet tears off of the roll.  But then... then the "thing" happens.  You know, you're in a hurry, or in a crowd and people are waiting for you to move.  You grab one paper towel and you do the wrist snap and suddenly, EVERY DAMN SHEET OF PAPER TOWEL IS NOW SHOOTING OUT AT YOU AS IF SOME DERANGED PAPER TOWEL SHEET CANNON IS GUNNING FOR YOUR SOUL!!!!!!

I....  I might.... There's a small chance that I hold some resentment for paper products.

I think I'll stop here.