That song now makes me cry in my old age....

I couldn't figure out how to start this one, so here are a few different opening paragraphs to stress my point:

Open 1:  There have been plenty of songs that have reached into my soul and touched me, influencing my life.  Of course, I mean that strictly in a hypothetical type way.  "Come on Feel the Noize" was one of those songs and I think it simply made a connection with teenage hormones.

Open 2:  There have been many songs that, at different points in my life, I have felt an emotional connection with.  Most songs reached me at a specific age (like the previously mentioned passion of Quiet Riot) when the majority of that age was choc-ful-o youthful hormonal angst in some way or another.

Open 3:  I have a nostalgic feel for a lot of the music from my youth, but very rarely does it mean anything to me anymore.  Ah yes, "Imaginary Lovers" touched me greatly when I fell head over heels in love with the only girl on my baseball team in the third grade.   I tell you I had NO IDEA what that song meant as a kid and having just watched the video for the first time, I am ashamed of myself!

Open 4:  Many songs reached me at a specific time in my life but they only work for that moment in my life.  Dr Feelgood?  What?  Great song.  I'm not certain what I got out of it.  I saw this performed in concert... TWICE!  On a side note, for a Cello exam in college I once played some of this song.  My professor was NOT amused.  Yet, I was impressed with how I expressed myself.  However, given that I only studied cello for such a short period, I'm sure it sounded more like me skinning a cat with cello than anything else... much like the song is supposed to sound, right?


My point is, that very few songs out there are "timeless" to me.  Yes, I can enjoy a song that once meant something to me, but a song that defined my world when I was 18 can have very little impact on my 45 year old self, other than nostalgia.

At least, that is what I thought.

In 1989 one of the best albums to be given to my generation was released.  It was Disintegration by the Cure.  If you haven't listened to it, here's a link to the WHOLE ALBUM on Youtube.  I cannot guarantee that you will like it and I will not try to convince you otherwise if you do not.

I love it.

What you cannot deny is that one of the most poetic, sentimental and heartfelt songs ever written is on this CD (No, not this deemed "the whitest song ever")!!!

The song is Love Song (the video is a little odd).

"whenever I'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am home again
whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am whole again

whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am young again
whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am fun again

however far away i will always love you
however long i stay i will always love you
whatever words i say i will always love you
i will always love you

whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am free again
whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am clean again

however far away i will always love you
however long i stay i will always love you
whatever words i say i will always love you
i will always love you"

That song... those lyrics... they are simply amazing.
That song is cupids arrow put into a melody.
It is so deep and touching.

When I first heard it at the ripe age of 18, I'm certain it made me feel uncomfortable.  I probably said something stupid like "Dude... THAT is so Gay!"  And then I most likely promptly sung it to whomever I was trying to woo at the moment.

And for most of the next 20 years that song had been about falling in love... in the moment...  No, nothing explicit.  Just an emotion.  If you sing it to someone you are actually in love with, it seems to carry an even greater meaning.

However, I recently learned that if I sing it to my child, I turn into a blithering idiot and will cry.

Yup.  The song came on the radio the other day and I looked at my little girl and said "Ooooh, you'll like this song.  It is all a bout how much you love someone."  I couldn't make it through the chorus without breaking down.

Seriously, go back and re-read the lyrics.  If you are not of the mind set that that song is about a romantic interest, but more about a person whom you truly lovely unconditionally as in YOUR OWN CHILD, it is a whole new meaning that simply put, I was not prepared for.

Imagine you have a child and you do not get to see them every day because of your work (like you're deployed with the military), or their school, or perhaps a divorce....  Imagine how when you get to be with your child, you feel "home again" or "whole again" and "young again" even "fun again."  And I would say that you do feel free and even clean.  If you truly love your child and lose time with them, you feel like a better person when you're with them.   Life seems more complete and happier when you get to be with them.

It is when you are without them that you feel so low.

But it's that chorus sung to your child, whom you do not get to see as often as you like:

however far away i will always love you
however long i stay i will always love you
whatever words i say i will always love you
i will always love you

It's true.  My child is going to grow up.  She is going to push my buttons.  She is going to make mistakes.  She is going to hurt my feelings.  She is going to go away.  But I will ALWAYS love her!

Aaaaaaaaaaaand, tears.